


Moving On

by BrandiChampane



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood Magic, Ghost!Dean - Freeform, M/M, self harm similar to canon, witch!castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-06
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-04-25 02:43:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4943629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrandiChampane/pseuds/BrandiChampane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is a witch who reads fortunes for a living. Dean, an innocent customer, stops by for a reading. His cards reveal a shocking fortune and the next time he meets Castiel it's as a ghost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Death Card

**Author's Note:**

> For those that started reading this a while back, I've changed the original fic, editing it to make it longer. The first part has changed somewhat from the original. This will be a four part fic and I'll be updating weekly.

Castiel waits for his next customer to enter the shop. Since witchcraft was legalized again he’s gained more revenue reading cards and palms than ever. His shop is thriving, people coming and going daily to buy crystals and herbs. He frowns at his deck of tarot cards that have grown rugged with use, edges separating and curling inwards. Cas tucks the worn out deck into his desk and pulls out a fresh deck. The box is stiff and the cards are cold in his palm as he slides them from the box. As he sets the fresh deck on his desk the next customer enters the room, he’s tall with face bright with joy. Castiel can feel positive energy radiating from the man and can’t help but smile back at him.

“Welcome. Please feel free to take a seat.” Cas invites him. His customer rears a moment but eagerly sits.

“You’re young to be a witch,” he says, shifting and resting his hands, one over the other, on the table.

“Looks can be deceiving. Trust me, I’m much older than I appear.” The customer raises his brows but says nothing. “What’s your name?”

“Dean, and you’re Castiel right? Gotta be from a different era to have a name like that.” Castiel nods, laughing at Dean’s comment. Dean’s not the first person to suggest he has a strange name.

“So, Dean, what can I help you with today?”

“Well,” Dean starts, drawing his arms to his chest. He rubs the edges of his nails together out of habit. “Thing is, I’m getting married, well I’m thinking of proposing.”

“That sounds wonderful, congrats.” Dean scratches the back of his head, fidgety in his seat.

“Yeah, thanks. I’m excited only I’m also worried. My mom passed away when I was young and my father went through hell without her. I’m wondering if your cards can read if-if the same thing might…” he trails off. Castiel nods.

“You’re worried you’ll suffer the same.” Dean nods.

Castiel slides the fresh cards over. “Shuffle them please.”

Dean picks up the cards examining the patterns on them. “There a reason you can’t do this?” He shuffles the cards as he waits for Castiel’s answer.

“The cards need to read your energy and if I shuffle them they could confuse us.” Cas can see the skeptical smile on Dean’s lips. His customers are all the same, so desperate for his readings and yet they’re quick to deny his magic is real. Dean finishes shuffling and slides the cards back. Cas draws the cards one by one, laying them neatly before him. Once he’s finished he looks them over, they all seem normal. Love, sex, they all make sense except for one.

“I’m sorry,” Cas says returning the cards to the deck. “I’m going to need you to reshuffle.”

“Why, pull a joker or something?” Dean jokes, taking the cards in his hands again. “I’m not going to be charged extra for this, am I?”

“No, no. It’s just that I pulled a strange card. Did you thinking of your mother while you shuffled?” It only makes sense that Dean would’ve thought of his deceased mother. The only customers who pull the death card on the first draw are those who are elderly and those with terminal illnesses. Castiel tries to refrain from pinching his brows together and is almost successful.

“Might have been.” Dean shrugs, shuffling the cards again.

“Try thinking of your girlfriend. Talk to me about her, why do you love her?” Cas watches Dean’s fingers fit between the cards and delicately pull them apart.

“She’s great. We didn’t start off all lovey-dovey, honestly. She was a one night stand when I was younger but, there was something about her. I’d visit her at times if I was in town. She’s so beautiful, jet black hair and eyes so sincere…One day I stopped by and I just never left. I moved into a motel nearby and eventually I just moved in with her.” Dean hands the cards over to Cas again.

Cas pulls the first card and pinches his brows. Death again, right away no pussy-footing around this time. He pulls the rest of the cards. All the same. Seeing the reaper stare back at him is unsettling, especially in the case where his customer is young and otherwise in perfect health. Castiel tries to piece the cards together into a narrative that makes more sense. Anything other than a scenario where Dean might actually die.

“What’s wrong? Why does it look like you just drank sour milk?” Dean leans in to look at the cards, eyes going wide when he sees the death card. Honestly, it’s just paper but, the image can be so menacing along with the meaning behind it.

“Dean, just so you know the death card doesn’t always resemble a physical death. You are planning to propose, it could also symbolize the end of a phase and the beginning of another.” Cas points to the love card. “This could mean your future of love once your old life ends.” Dean nods, seeming to settle.

“What else could it mean?” Cas shrugs looking over the cards.

“At worst it could possibly mean the end of love in your life, perhaps the end of a relationship.” Most of the cards on the table are so innocent, so opposing to the darkness of the reaper.

“So you’re saying, Lisa and me, we could break up?” The look on Dean’s face is one of betrayal and Castiel shifts and tries to defuse Dean before he can become too worked up.

“Perhaps, or perhaps your relationship with a friend or family member could come to an end.”

Dean exhales heavily and leans back in his chair. Without saying a word, he picks through his pocket pulling out a couple bills and laying them on the table. Castiel watches has he counts his money making sure he pays the correct amount along with a tip. Giving bad news always spoils Castiel’s day but it’s a part of the job, he supposes. Some days he considers giving up the tarot cards but he still needs to eat. Dean returns the chair to its original place in front of Castiel’s desk.

“Thanks for everything,” Dean says. Cas watches as Dean walks out of the shop. He gathers the cards and tucks them away in his desk. Most customers don’t understand that the cards are never definite, only indicators of near or close future. Still, Cas can’t help but worry, drawing death once is enough to scare someone but twice is mortifying. He feels the need to replace his brand new deck with a new one just in case it’s just the cards. 

–

The next time Cas sees Dean is a chilly October night, the sky dark with clouds but quiet. Cas wakes to the sound of movement and nearly panics when he sees an apparition standing near his bed. This happens often, lost souls are drawn to his energy and end up haunting his home until they move on. He turns on the light and prepares his, “you’ve crossed over,” speech when he recognizes the person in front of him.

“Dean?”

“Cas? What the hell kind of messed up dream is this?” Dean turns in a circle taking in the room, he must have just arrived. Castiel slides out of bed and walks over to Dean. He tries to place a placating hand on Dean’s shoulder but withdraws it when it passes through Dean instead. 

“Dean, calm down,” Cas starts. Dean steps back, staring at the same place that Castiel’s hand passed through.

“What’s happening?” Dean’s eyes are wide with panic, his chest heaving as he stares at his own hands. The small television in the corner of Castiel’s room flickers on and the sound of static fills the room. Next his alarm clock buzzes with the echo of Dean’s voice playing softly in the background. 

“Dean, you need to calm down and let me explain,” Cas flicks his wrist, turning off the TV and radio in one smooth motion. Dean looks between the TV and Castiel, backing himself into the other end of the room.

“You really are a witch,” Dean whispers. “What’s happening to me? Did you do this?” He looks angry now, rearing up on Castiel. Castiel stammers for the right words to explain what’s happened to Dean and settles for being blunt.

“You’re dead, Dean. You must’ve passed on this afternoon,” he says. He gives Dean a moment to process the information before asking, “do you remember anything?” Dean runs a hand through his hair, still styled even in the afterlife.

Cas takes in Dean’s attire, jacket, t shirt and jeans, similar to what he wore the first time they met. Dean’s wearing a necklace too, an odd looking piece of jewelry, Cas thinks. There’s a rumor that the dead where their last outfit into eternity, or at least until they find a final resting place. Though Cas has spoken to multiple ghosts, he’s never gotten a clear answer. Most of the dead can’t remember what they wore or what they were doing when it happened. They usually just remember needing to be with a loved one or that they were supposed to pick up groceries. It’s sad, Cas thinks, that some will never know what they’re final moments were like.

Seeing the dead is one of the perks of being witch that Castiel can do without. Each spirit not only reminds him of the inevitability of his own death but also fills him with sympathy for each person that passes through. Watching them struggle to come to grips with their new reality is the hardest part because most of the spirits haven’t realized they moved on, just as Dean hasn’t. When they appear, Castiel usually tries to usher them on as quickly as he can partly because it’s depressing and partly because he’s afraid of the power spirits seem to possess. 

Dean’s voice shakes Castiel from his thoughts. “I was with Sam, we were tracking something, some animal in the woods or something,” Dean trails off, bringing his hand to the bridge of his nose. Castiel can tell he’s trying to remember what he can. “It’s okay, take your time,” Cas says. Though he’s done this countless time, each new ghost brings along a new scenario. There’s not cut and dry method of telling someone they’ve moved on and ushering them from his home.

Dean slides to the floor to sit down, his hands cradling his head. Castiel hates this part, when they realize everything they’ve left behind, when they realize their life is over. There’s nothing anyone can say to ease the pain, Cas can only hope that wherever they go next is better than the life they lived before. He listens to Dean mumble under his breathe, most likely retracing his steps from his last moments alive. Cas waits patiently for Dean to sort out his thoughts.

“Sam,” Dean says, as if he’s realizing something for the first time. “He was with me when it happened. I need to find Sam to make sure he’s okay.” Dean scrambles to his feet and searches the bedroom to find the door. 

“Dean, wait,” Cas calls after him but Dean moves too quickly. 

One of the perks of being a ghost is no longer needing to open doors or worrying about falling down steps. Cas jogs behind Dean, grabbing a jacket on his way out. He’s still in his pajamas but he doesn’t have time to change. Dean’s making his way to the door while Castiel jogs down the stairs. He’s glad his home is somewhat secluded when he finally reaches Dean on his front porch. Living amongst a community of witches has it perks as any normal person walking by would think he’s crazy for talking to dead air in the middle of the night. 

“Dean,” Castiel yells trying to gain his attention. Dean finally stops, probably when he realizes he’s miles away from home without a car or way to get around. “Dean, you can’t go see Sam,” Castiel rushes out.

“What? Why not?” Dean looks offended almost, as if Castiel insulted him.

“For starters, he wouldn’t even know you were there,” Castiel begins. He feels a little colder, shivering as Dean stares back at him like he’s already determined not to listen to Cas. Cas looks around before speaking again. “You need to move on Dean, not stir up the past. Think of this as a new chapter of your life because you can’t get the past back,” Cas feels how harsh the words are as they leave his mouth but Dean needs to hear this. Castiel’s watched too many ghosts spend years attached to the people of their past, never moving on until they become poltergeists. 

Dean shakes his head and looks out at the woods ahead of him. “I just need to know he’s safe and that he made it back home,” Dean says. He’s scanning the scenery, searching for a direction to move in Castiel realizes. He sighs and tugs his jacket tighter around his waist. 

“Fine, just, wait until the morning. I can drive past this, Sam’s, house and you can see for yourself.” Cas isn’t sure why he offers, he supposes years of telling ghosts ‘no’ has worn him down along with the fact that he knew Dean while he was living, albeit briefly. “I need to sleep though, it’s nearly three in the morning,” Cas says looking at his watch. Dean sags his shoulders, disappointed that he has to wait but he must decide it’s better than walking the whole way.

Dean thanks Castiel and follows him back inside. The floorboards creak as he walks back upstairs. He shivers, still cold from being outside in only his pajamas but also because Dean lowers the temperature. Dean sits in a chair at the foot of Castiel’s bed, watching as he climbs beneath the sheets. Castiel pulls them tight around him, trying to keep warm. It’s strange, he thinks, having a ghost watch over him at night. Normally he sends them on their way, he could do the same to Dean but he feels guilty. He did pull the man’s death card after all, though he’d hoped for it to have a different meaning. 

“So you do this often then?” Dean asks. “Dealing with the dead.” He punctuates the word, letting it linger in the air as he waits for Castiel to answer.

“Not often. However, I seem to have a natural draw that guides spirits to me. It’s not uncommon for witches,” Cas explains. 

Dean nods, but doesn’t further the conversation. Instead he leans back in the chair, head resting on his arms stretched behind him. Tomorrow, Castiel will let Dean see his friend is okay and then he’ll send Dean on his way. Where ghosts go after Castiel gives them the afterlife speech, Cas has no idea, but they never return. He assumes some reaper comes along to guide them to their final resting place. Even with all of his years of dealing with the undead, Castiel has never done any real research on the topic. He prefers to wait until the day comes for himself to find out what is on the other side. Castiel settles into bed, listening to the crickets chirping and all the sounds the night brings. He drifts to sleep with an uneasy feeling in his stomach.

Dean stares at Castiel’s car, a rusted Oldsmobile, as if he’s never seen a car before. Castiel watches as Dean rounds the car, scrutinizing it with his gaze. Castiel is due for an upgrade, he knows, but he’s never seen someone judge a car the way Dean does. Dean looks from the car to Castiel and back again, as if he can’t believe Castiel would drive such a vehicle. Castiel rolls his eyes and opens the driver side door. He has to lean to unlock the passenger side and pop the handle so Dean can climb in. He realizes, belatedly, that Dean can just slide through the door if he chooses to. 

“I thought witches rode on brooms or something,” Dean says as Castiel starts the car. The engine hums a little loud and the gears stick as he places it in reverse.

“Of all the myths created about us witches, that one baffles us the most. Why humans seem to think of brooms as the most convenient mode of transportation eludes me,” Castiel responds. He thinks of Halloween decorations he’s seen of green old women riding brooms and cringes. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to offend you,” Dean seems sincere as he apologizes.

“It’s fine, it’s a common misconception,” he shrugs, pulling onto a road that leads into the city. “So, this Sam, he’s a friend of yours?” He asks, curious about the person he’s driving Dean to see.

“Yeah, well he’s my brother. That’s why I wanted to check on him so bad, it’s kind of my responsibility to look after him,” Dean shares. Cas nods to show he’s listening. “Last I remember we were in the woods on a hunt.”

“Like a deer?” Castiel asks. He looks over at Dean, who in the sunlight appears nearly transparent now. Cas can still see the remnants of dirt along his cheeks, staining his jacket and hands. There’s something that he thinks is blood staining the back of Dean’s hands as well. He swallows his own fear and waits for Dean’s response.

“More like a wendigo,” Dean says. “Son of a bitch must’ve got me but hopefully Sammy was able to get out of the woods in time.” 

“So, you’re hunters?” Cas asks, already knowing the answer.

“Yeah, we’re hunters,” Dean responds. Cas fights the urge to stomp on the brakes and turn the car around. He can, he can force Dean to leave if he wants. He always carries a little salt on him just in case. All it would take is a little flick and Dean would fizzle away to who knows where and Cas could go home and put this all behind him. Instead, he cuts the wheel to make a left when Dean points to a road up ahead.

“You okay?” Dean asks, eyeing him from the passenger seat.

“I didn’t realize you were a hunter,” Cas says. Hunters and witches have never gotten along. Hunters don’t get along with anyone that isn’t human, though the tension has died down a little in recent years. Castiel’s surprised Dean even walked into his shop and let him live. 

“That a problem?” Dean asks.

“It is if your brother hates witches. The last thing I need is to be hunted all because I decided to take a road trip,” he says. He sounds like an ass, he knows it, but the prospect of crossing paths with another hunter puts him on edge.

“So long as you’re not putting hexes on people there’s nothing to worry about,” Dean says. “You’re not, are you?” He asks, after a second thought.

Cas thinks back to nearly a century ago when a few boys left rotten apples in his sister’s car with a vicious note advising her to leave town. She’d been so crushed, she cried the whole night. As an older brother, Cas took it upon himself to teach the boys that hurt her a lesson. They didn’t die but they did spend a night in the ER once Castiel was finished. Cas abandoned dark magic after that, he never felt the need to use it. He shook his head in response to Dean’s question. 

“I have no use for it,” he says. Dean eyes him, suspicious but he doesn’t press it. Castiel’s just glad Dean isn’t solid. 

They drive on for miles, passing diners and abandoned churches along the way. Dean leads the way back, pointing at roads as though he has them memorized. Castiel wonders if Dean’s lives here in town or if he’s just here on a hunt. He turns on the radio to fill the silence as he drives, the conversation lost now. The closer they get to Sam, the more nervous he grows. Cas avoids interacting with humans these days. Aside from his business, he prefers to spend his time with other witches, discussing new potions and trading gardening tips. It’s simple and quiet, the way he prefers.

Humans have always complicated Castiel’s life because he can never be open with them. Once they learn about Castiel’s power they either try to find a way to exploit it or beg Castiel to teach them a few spells. People always have too many questions about his past and how long he’s lived, wondering what he’s seen. His answers are typically boring, Castiel grew up on a farm with his siblings, learned the trade from his father and keeps to himself. He’s never participated in a dark ritual or tried to summon Satan, as many humans seem to believe he does regularly. Most of the opinions of him are insulting, so Castiel prefers to live in the outskirts of town with the other witches and monsters. 

Dean directs them onto a road that’s nearly barren aside from a few gas stations and a hotel. There’s a small burger joint with only a few cars parked out front. Castiel’s not sure he’s ever been to this part of town but, it looks dangerous like he could be mugged or kidnapped. He pulls into the hotel parking lot, unsure if this is where Dean meant to lead him. The town’s deserted, all the buildings looking as though they’re about the fall apart. Castiel might live in a secluded part of town but it’s kept way better than this place. He hopes Dean’s confused or lost, but then Dean tells him to park in front of a hotel.

“This is where your brother lives?” Cas asks. He feels like he’s part of some prank.

“It was the closest hotel to the job,” Dean replies. He’s looking around the parking lot, like he’s trying to find someone or something.

“Do you think he’s here?” Cas asks. He also wants to ask why, of all the towns, they chose to stay in the creepiest one. He figures it must be a hunter thing, after all they lay as low as the monsters they kill. “Well, the impala’s parked in the lot so he’s gotta be here,” Dean responds. Cas nods and looks around. 

“I’ll just be a second,” Dean says. He slides through the frame of the car with ease.

Cas watches as Dean strolls up to a hotel door and tries for the handle. When his hand slips right through, Dean throws his head back and visibly sighs. Cas would laugh but it doesn’t seem appropriate. Dean tries to push a hand through the door and recoils like he’s been shocked and Cas leans forward, like he can’t believe what he just saw. Dean tries again, this time leaning his entire body into the door frame, only to recoil from the touch. Dean’s shoulders slouch as he walks back to the car.

“He salted the damn door,” Dean exclaims. Cas jumps, forgetting how easy it is for Dean to appear so unexpectedly. 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Cas says, unsure what to say. “I guess you’ll just have to wait for him to leave, then.” Cas says, preparing the start up the car again.

“You’ll just have to knock on the door,” Dean says.

“Excuse me?” Cas asks, in disbelief.

“Yeah, just knock and see if he’s there, then we can go.” Dean says, as if it’s that simple.

“What do I say when he answers, he’s not going to believe I’m room service.”

“Just make something up, tell him you need directions or something. I don’t care,” Dean’s frustrated now. Castiel’s eyes flicker to the car’s stereo that’s begun to search stations, settling on a classic rock station. He sighs, opening the car door and preparing a lie for when he answers the door.

“Fine, but then we’re leaving,” Cas says. 

Cas strolls up the hotel door Dean was at before. Dean stands just behind him, eager to see his brother again. Cas knocks once, then waits. Nothing. He knocks again and he can hear the voice of someone yelling from the other side of the door but he can’t make out the words, just the frustration behind them. His palms sweat as he waits, knowing there’s a hunter on the other end of the door makes him nervous. The door opens and Cas has to look up at a much taller man before him. Dean’s jaw drops and Sam’s mimics the motion. 

“Uh, hello?” He says. He sounds tired, Cas realizes, and he remembers that while Dean may be very present to him right now, Sam’s just lost his brother. He feels a pang of sympathy and regrets being here. “Hi, sorry to bother you,” Cas starts, still trying to think of something to say. 

“God, I’m so glad you’re alive,” Dean whispers beside him. Cas tries to ignore him but then Dean’s stepping forward, only to be repelled by the salt line again. They both look down in unison to see a faint line of salt just in front of the door. “Can I help you?” Sam asks, waiting for Castiel to say something.

“Uh,” Cas feels like a flounder, his mouth opening and closing but no words coming out. “I need to make a phone call,” he says. It’s the first thing he can think of so he rolls with it. “See, my cell phone died while I was in the middle of an important conversation and I thought, maybe I could get lucky and find someone with a phone I could use.” He looks around him at the empty scenery. “As you can see, it’s pretty desolate around here,” he adds.

“Oh, uh, sure no problem. You can borrow the hotel phone if you want,” Sam says. He widens the door enough for Castiel to enter behind him. As Castiel crosses the threshold, he disturbs the salt line enough for Dean to enter behind him. “C’mon Sammy, I taught you better than to let strangers into your hotel room,” Dean says, entering the room behind Cas. Cas turns to him, trying not to be obvious as he glares at the other man.

Castiel reaches for the phone, realizing suddenly that he doesn’t actually have anyone to call. He presses a few numbers that he thinks is a disconnected line and listens for the ringer. Sam steps to the other end of the room, while Dean walks about, flitting in and out of closets and the bathroom, complaining about the state of the room as he does. It’s a bit of a mess, Cas realizes. A duffle bag open on one the beds, it’s unmade and Cas can only guess it belonged to Dean. The phone continues to ring to a dead line as Cas inspects the room, until his eyes land on a small necklace on the nightstand. He recognizes it as the same one Dean wears around his neck, reaching out to feel it before he can stop himself.

His hand tingles, as though he’s been shocked and then there’s a barrage of memories flooding his thoughts. Memories of Dean as a kid, Sam handing him the necklace wrapped in newspapers. Dean growing older, dropping out of high school, someone Cas assumes is his father yelling at him. Then there’s Sam and Dean in the impala, loud music playing as they drive down the highway. Cas recoils, pulling his hand to his chest and staring at the necklace. Sam must notice because now he’s watching Castiel like he’s figuring something out. Cas hangs up the phone, preparing an excuse about how his friend isn’t answering but Sam’s behind him with a pistol cocked and pointed to the back of his head.

Cas tries to remember to breathe, slowly raising his hands over his head and turning in place. Sam stares at him, breathing heavy and Cas begins to wonder if this is it, if he’ll be a ghost soon too. Dean panics, screams at Sam to put the gun down, even tries to reach out and grab it and for just a moment, Dean’s nearly solid again. His hand clasps around Sam’s, his brothers breathe visible in the air, Castiel can feel his own body grow cold. The hair stands on the back of his neck and both he and Sam stare at Dean as he tries to guide his brother into lowering his weapon. Sam appears shocked now, not sure if he should train his weapon on Dean or Cas. Instead, he backs up towards the door as if he might bolt at any moment.

“Dean?” Sam asks, he looks hurt. His eyes filling with tears as he stares at this version of his brother, grey and nearly transparent. There’s dark circles beneath Dean’s eyes like he hasn’t slept a single night and even Cas would be scared of him if he wasn’t so used to seeing ghosts. 

“You were cremated,” Sam says. Of all the things Cas expected to hear, this wasn’t it. Sam stares at his brother, his lower lip quivering and Cas suddenly feels like he should be anywhere but here, witnessing this. “I don’t understand how you’re here.” Sam exchanges looks between Dean and Cas now, trying to put together the pieces of an extremely complicated puzzle. 

“It’s a long story,” Dean says, answering Sam’s unspoken question. Dean steps forward, spreading his arms to wrap them around Sam but he only passes through his brother. He backs up a few steps, collecting himself before he looks his brother in the eyes. “Your soul must’ve anchored on to something,” Sam says. He lays his pistol on the table beside him, finally relaxing a little. 

“Nice to see you too, Sammy,” Dean quips. Sam’s shoulders sag and his eyebrows pinch together like he’s hurt. 

“Dean, you’re dead,” the words sound weak as they leave Sam’s mouth, like he doesn’t believe them either. 

“Yeah, I know, I’m a ghost now. Cas here filled me in already,” Dean says. 

“I mean,” Sam starts, a little more aggression in his tone. “Dad and I burned your remains. I carried you, your dead body to the car and had to call Dad to tell him,” Sam sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face, then through his hair. “It’s not like I expected to see you again, especially not like this.” Sam shakes his head in disbelief.

“Yeah, I get what you mean,” Dean says. He looks down at the floor a moment before looking back up at Sam. “I just needed to make sure you got out of there in time, that was a nasty hunt. At least I think it was, I don’t really remember much, Cas says that happens to us ghosts,” Dean laughs but there’s no humor in his statement. 

Sam tilts his head to look at Cas now. “Uh, I’m sorry, who are you, exactly?” His attention is focused on him now and Cas feels as though he’s been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

“Uh, I’m, Castiel,” he says.

“He’s a witch,” Dean says for him. “He’s gonna help me cross over, or whatever,” Dean explains.

“What?” Sam asks, in total disbelief. 

“Well, I don’t necessarily help spirits cross over so much as I just guide them in the right direction, I guess. Let them know that they’ve passed on when they come to me,” Cas adds.

“So you’re like some sort of ghost whisperer?” Sam asks. 

“I guess,” Cas says. He looks at Dean who shrugs and suddenly wishes he was anywhere but here. “I mostly read tarot cards for people and sell herbs and crystals,” he adds.

Sam nods like he’s trying to understand everything. It’s already been a long day and Cas wishes it would end already. Not only is he standing in a hotel room with a hunter and a ghost, of all things, he’s also had a pistol pointed at him. While it’s not the first time a hunter has threatened him, he still doesn’t enjoy having it happen. He tries to think of any excuse to leave, short of just walking out the door and never turning back. He could move, start up a new business in a different state it wouldn’t be the first time he’s had to reinvent himself. 

“Cas helped me get here since I can’t really drive anymore,” Dean says. 

“Thanks,” Sam says sincerely. 

“No problem,” Cas says. “Speaking of which, I don’t actually know how to get back home from here,” Cas realizes. 

He hadn’t thought it through, he assumed he’d just let Dean see that his brother was fine and they’d turn back but it’s much more complicated now. The living, in Castiel’s experience, don’t normally see the dead. At least not humans, then again he supposes the world wouldn’t need hunters if every ghost went unseen. Usually the ones who do end up hunted are poltergeists, or ghosts with a few too many grudges who possess innocent humans to get what they want. Dean seems to be more solid now and Cas wonders if emotion plays a part in how strong a ghost is, or perhaps it’s just energy. 

“We can’t just leave,” Dean says. 

“You need to move on, Dean, before you miss your chance,” Cas reminds him.

“You said I’d need to move on because Sam wouldn’t be able to see me anyways, but he can. So why can’t I stay here, Sammy and I can catch up, like old times,” he says.

“Except it’s not like old times,” Sam says. “This isn’t normal, Dean.”

“Yeah, neither are vampires or wendigos but we live in a world full of them, Sam,” Dean responds. The TV flickers on, the sound of static filling the room. “So why can’t I stay here a little longer? I can wait out my time here and when the time comes to move on, I will.”

“I can’t do that,” Sam says. “I can’t watch you turn into-,”

“Into what, a monster?” Dean says. 

One of the lightbulbs above the beds shatters, causing Cas and Sam to look at each other and then at Dean. Cas places a hand over his heart, feeling his heart beat rise as his body grows a little colder, like all the heat is being sucked out of the room. Sam can feel it too, his breath coming out in white puffs as he stares at the shattered bits of glass on the floor. Dean stares at his hands, which are almost solid now, his breathing is heavy as if he still needs oxygen. Cas places a hand on his shoulder and is surprised when it doesn’t pass through. Instead it rests easily on top of Dean’s leather jacket like he’s come to life again. 

“What the hell?” Sam and Dean speak in unison. 

“You need to calm down, the more emotional you are the more unstable you become,” Cas says.

He’s seen countless spirits turn to fits of rage once they’ve crossed over, too unwilling to accept what’s happened. They scream and slam Castiel’s belongings until every light in the house is shattered and Castiel, while he always feels guilty, exorcises them. He doesn’t know any other way to stop it, to calm a ghost into submission before his entire house is in ruins. At worst, he’s been attacked by ghosts, as if he’s the reason they’ve passed on. It’s rare but Cas learned to stop trusting ghosts with the passing of time. Dean tries to relax, pacing the room until the TV shuts off and Cas and Sam can breathe easily. Cas feels the heat return to the room as Dean calms down. Cas and Sam watch as Dean collects himself, sitting on one of the beds, both of them amazed he doesn’t fall right through. Sam’s the first to move, crossing over the room to Dean and placing a tentative hand on Dean’s cheek. When his hand doesn’t pass through, Sam gathers his brother into a hug. Cas busies himself watching through the only window in the room as the brothers embrace. 

“God, I missed you,” Sam says. 

“I know,” Dean replies. They separate, Sam wiping at his eyes and Dean avoiding eye contact with anyone. 

“So what do we do now?” Dean asks. They look to Cas as if he has some answers.

“You try to move on,” Cas answers easily.


	2. Solid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam returns to visit Castiel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone enjoys this new chapter! I did start making artwork for this fic, I'll be uploading one artwork per chapter. They will be tarot themed and the first is six of swords, which you can view on my tumblr bruisedcastiel.tumblr.com if you're interested. Just a bit of warning, the first image is somewhat violent, if you're unfamiliar with tarot cards, six of swords is an image of a man being pierced by six swords to represent grief and pain.

Several days pass since Cas and Dean visited Sam. Dean and Sam had an emotional final goodbye before Dean guided Castiel home. Dean spends most of his time sulking in Castiel’s bedroom, or in the shop while Cas tries to work. Most of his customers don’t notice Dean, but the other witches do. Gossiping about Castiel’s ‘new friend’ as if he’s the reason Dean sticks around. In truth, Dean could be anywhere. He could travel, see the world, try finding a reaper. Anything. Instead, Dean chooses to stay beside Castiel, talking to him as he gardens and cleans. He learns about the afterlife and Castiel tells him stories of some of the other ghosts he’s encountered.

Dean shares stories of his hunts, each new story revealing another chapter of Dean’s life. Dean’s traveled almost everywhere and experienced more than most can in one lifetime. Dean’s also gone through many trials, from losing his mother to Sam and now he’s here. Castiel can’t imagine a life so full of adventure and heartache. He prefers to tend to his greenhouse, keeping the plants healthy and watered while remaining out of trouble. He feels embarrassed when the grandest story he has to tell is of how his father sacrificed his life so that Castiel and his siblings could escape a witch hunt. His family ran for days, catching rides with who they could until they were far enough to finally stop. 

His siblings are all grown now and have moved onto new cities. His mother, a powerful witch, archives ancient spells while teaching the younger witches in her city. Anna and Michael, his siblings, work normal jobs maintaining a sense of normalness. Castiel considered going to college and getting a degree in something, he could teach Latin or some other specialty he’s picked up in all of his years. Running the shop is peaceful though, he enjoys creating new medicines to help those in need and reading the cards. Castiel can’t imagine doing anything other than running the shop, so he’s never taken classes or earned a degree. 

Dean tells Castiel about how Sam nearly became a lawyer which shocks Castiel. He doesn’t hear of many hunters having careers outside of killing monsters. He’s not surprised when Dean tells him how Sam never finished his degree but he’s still filled with sadness. Barely men and Sam and Dean have already sacrificed everything to protect people. Castiel has to remind himself that hunters are the reason witches are becoming scarce these days but Dean seems so noble. While Castiel may spare pity for some of the fallen, but there are truly evil monsters in the world that Castiel wouldn’t mind extinguishing himself. 

After a few weeks, Cas begins to wonder if Dean will ever pass on to his final resting place. They’re in Castiel’s greenhouse, Cas picking weeds and watering his plants when Dean seems to become solid again. Ever since their visit with Sam, Dean has shifted in and out of states, becoming more solid when he’s frustrated or particularly sad. Today, though, Dean’s just staring at the wolfs bane trying and trying to grab at it until, eventually, he does. They both stare at the plant in Dean’s hand, equally shocked that it lingers as long as it does. 

There’s been days where Dean can pick up small items, only to hold them for a few seconds before they crash to the floor, usually scaring Castiel’s customers. Now, though, the wolfs bane rests in Dean’s hand for a solid minute before either of them breathe. Cas grabs the plant, adding it to his basket of collected herbs, then he grabs Dean’s hand. He turns it over in his palm, testing it by poking at the skin and caressing it with his thumb. Dean curls his fingers in Castiel’s, turning his hand in the air, a sight some of the other witches stop to watch. Castiel recoils when he notices the attention they’re receiving. 

“Holy shit,” Dean says. “I don’t know how I did that.” 

Dean stares at his own hands and begins grabbing more objects, a shovel, Castiel’s basket, some scissors. The only thing Dean can’t pick up is an old iron watering can which causes Dean to flinch away in pain. He laughs a little, giggling like a kid as he holds onto Castiel’s basket. Castiel’s not so sure it’s a good thing that Dean’s becoming more solid now and worries it means Dean might be bound here. He smiles at Dean anyways and tries not to worry about it.

Dean helps around the shop more after that, cleaning after closing and helping Cas carry things, excited every chance he gets to hold something. He still has to stay quiet during store hours, Cas can’t have him driving customers away because the broom is suddenly floating. Even Cas tries not to abuse his powers in front of humans, worried he’ll spook them or a hunter might find him threatening. So Dean usually waits in Castiel’s room or haunts the other witches. Some days Cas wonders if he should’ve let Dean stay with Sam, it’s been days since he’s passed on and he’s still lingering. Perhaps spirits don’t pass on as easily as he assumed and he wonders how many of the ghosts he’s cast off are still wandering around. He can’t help enjoying the company though, even if he’s one of the few people who can actually see Dean.

On a particular Saturday afternoon Cas actually forgets Dean’s a spirit. He’s been lifting objects and acting so human that Cas is surprised when he didn’t notice he’s prepared lunch for two. They’re sitting in his small dining space, just behind the shop, as Castiel slides a cucumber sandwich to Dean before biting into his own. He even pours them both a glass of tea. Dean frowns at the sandwich though, turning it over before dropping it back onto the plate. Castiel stops eating once he’s realized what he’s done. “Oh,” he says. 

He grabs at the sandwich, putting it on his own plate but he can tell Dean’s hurt from the reminder. Dean can’t eat, or sleep, or even be seen by humans most days. While he can joke and even touch Castiel, he’s one of the few people he actually can talk to. Even Sam wouldn’t know he was around most days, no matter how hard Dean tries he doesn’t seem to stay visible too long. Trying to remain solid is exhausting for Dean and Castiel worries Dean will push himself to hard. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Dean says. He shrugs and Cas tries not to think about it. “So what are we up to for the rest of the day? Need me to sweep the shop?” It all feels so casual, sitting and talking with Dean. 

“Not tonight, I thought it’d be a good night to watch a movie and relax,” Cas says. It’s nearly Halloween, and while some witches think the mass marketing of monsters is offensive, Cas enjoys the holiday. He likes the spend the days preceding it watching his favorite scary movies, which usually aren’t all too frightening. 

“What’d you have in mind?” Dean asks, his interest peaked. 

“Beetlejuice,” Cas replies. Dean laughs at that.

“It’s such an old movie though, isn’t there something new out?” 

“Excuse me, I happen to think it’s a great film, it’s my favorite actually,” Cas scoffs. Dean raises an eyebrow at that. “Fine, you can pick the next movie but I’m still going to watch it,” he says. 

Dean smiles brightly at that. In the time that Dean’s been staying with Cas, he’s learned that Dean really likes movies, soap operas and classic rock. Some mornings his alarm clock with blare AC/DC even though Cas usually keeps it turned to that standard buzzer. He’ll even catch Dean watching Dr. Sexy if he’s sneaky enough. Dean always swears he was just watching it because it’s on, but Cas knows better. Cas has also learned that Dean can control just about any electrical item and assumes it has something to do with energy. He’s learned a lot about the afterlife having Dean around, his only mystery being why Dean hasn’t moved on yet. 

Some days Cas wonders if there’s even an afterlife or if it’s just something he’s been spoon fed since he was a child. Everyone knows monsters go to purgatory when they die and that demons exist so there must be a Hell. But it doesn’t explain why ghosts exist, why some souls are reaped right away and why some linger on, haunting old buildings and loved ones. Since Dean’s been around, Castiel’s interest in ghosts has grown. He wants to learn all he can, writing down all he can in a journal he keeps with him. Some days, he wonders if perhaps some souls are supposed to stay, if there’s a reason why they’re left on this planet or if maybe they just slip through the cracks. Gone unnoticed until some hunter or witch exorcises them. 

Castiel wants to learn all he can now, hoping to shed some light on the subject for other witches or even hunters. Aside from learning where souls go in the end, Castiel’s learning all new information from Dean being around. Dean’s helpful as well, telling Castiel how he feels different now than before. For instance, Dean doesn’t fear much of anything anymore, there’s nothing left for him to lose now. Dean explains how it feels to transport from room to room and while Castiel can easily snap his fingers to do the same, hearing Dean explain it is interesting. He writes their conversations, trying to record as much information as he can. 

Dean fast forwards through the movie, pausing and rewinding as his way of retaliating. He keeps telling Cas that the last thing he wants to do is to watch a movie about a couple of ghosts because it reminds him that he’s just as stuck as they are. Well, with the exception that Dean can actually leave the house if he wants, unlike the characters in the movie. Cas doesn’t give up though, with a snap of his fingers he can set the movie back to the beginning. Dean never seems to stop being surprised every time Castiel uses his magic. He’s probably seen a dozen demons snap their fingers and fling a door shut, but he’s still mesmerized each time Castiel snaps his fingers to bring water to a boil. 

Cas likes how easy it is to amaze Dean, teaching him new uses for herbs that Dean never knew existed. Outside of summoning demons and breaking hexes, Dean has little experience with magic. Castiel’s not surprised though, most people don’t dabble with magic because they’re usually too scared of the possibilities. Cas flicks his wrist and catches the remote as it flies to him, pausing the movie as Dean tries to fast forward through his favorite scene. The Deetz family is having a diner party just before their dance number. Dean rolls his eyes and groans hating every moment of it.

“It’s not that bad,” Cas says. This is the third time Dean’s tried to skip over the scene now. 

“It’s not even accurate,” Dean complains. Cas can’t help but laugh because Dean’s complaint is that the movie isn’t realistic. 

“What?” Dean looks genuinely confused by Castiel’s laughter, frowning at him. 

“Are you seriously complaining because Beetlejuice isn’t realistic enough for you?” Dean smiles at that, realizing what he just said. 

“It’s just not as fun when you’re a ghost. I bet you hate Hocus Pocus,” Dean explains.

“I love Hocus Pocus, in fact I was planning on watching it tomorrow,” Cas says. Dean rolls his eyes. 

“You can’t be serious,” he says. “I’m gonna die a second time,” he slouches into the couch beside Cas. 

For a brief moment Dean’s head rests against Castiel’s side, a light weight against him. His reacts without thinking and cards his hand through Dean’s hair which feels soft even in the afterlife. He’s still smiling as he hits play, neither of them realizing what’s happened until Dean clears his throat and puts distance between them on the couch. Castiel’s smile falls and he tries to focus on the movie but he’s too preoccupied on why he did that, and why he feels sad that Dean’s not close anymore.

They finish the movie without any more interruptions and then Dean helps Cas tidy the house before they head to bed. Dean can’t sleep so he usually turns on the TV or reads while Castiel sleeps. Having Dean around at night is comforting, he knows that if anyone tries to break in Dean will be able to wake him up. Cas also likes that he doesn’t feel so alone with Dean around. Cas tries not to think about earlier as he slides into bed. His house is colder with Dean living in it so he started investing in more blankets, bundling up beneath them as he tries to sleep. He’s restless though, tossing and turning all throughout the night. He feels ridiculous, his thoughts lingering on Dean and a part of him, a really messed up part of him, is attached.

Dean’s only been around for a few weeks, almost a month, but Cas feels like he’s known him forever. He realizes that touching the necklace and having a play by play of some of Dean’s memories is probably to blame. He hasn’t brought it up, he doesn’t know how he would explain that to Dean, though he supposes it’s not crazier than explaining to Dean that he’s a ghost. He has Dean’s thoughts, parts of Dean’s life trapped in his head and as much as he wishes they weren’t, they’re stuck. Dean’s becoming a part of him, leeching onto Cas and webbing himself into his life. Except, Dean’s life is over and Castiel could go on to live for centuries if continues to live an honest life.

At some point Castiel stopped thinking of Dean as the ghost that haunts his home now and instead, started thinking of him as a roommate. A roommate that doesn’t sleep or eat, but all the same. He’s stopped visiting his friend’s as often, his only encounters with the living limited to his work these days. Becoming so attached to a spirit is sick, he realizes, when he was supposed to be helping guide Dean to the other side. Everything has become so complicated. However, Castiel can’t help but feel that Dean showing up into his life has changed it for the better. They have a companionship and Dean stays by choice, not out of any obligation to Castiel, it makes Castiel feel wanted. Cas rolls onto his side, squeezing his eyes shut and tries to sleep instead of thinking about Dean.

Castiel’s in the shower when suddenly the hot water drops a few degrees, his own breath visible before him. The hairs on the back of his neck stand, all the signs Castiel needs to know Dean’s in the room. He sighs, rinsing the shampoo from his hair. He flicks his wrist, the conditioner bottle floats toward him then he bends the cap open. Conditioner lathers his hair, with another flick of his wrist the conditioner is returned to its place on the shelf. He rinses his hair, shivering as the room grows colder.

“Dean?” He asks. No response. “Dean, I know you’re in here, you’re the only ghost in my home,” he waits for a response.

“I miss showering,” Dean says. Cas supposes it’s innocent enough. He can imagine being covered in the same dirt and blood for eternity would make his miss showering too. What he doesn’t expect is for the shower curtain to open and for Dean to be standing, naked, before him. 

“I miss a lot of things,” he says. 

Castiel wakes up freezing, he shivers and grabs at the blankets and is shocked when his hand grabs something a little more solid, human almost. He sits up, eyes adjusting to the dark slowly until he can see Dean lying in bed beside him. Castiel’s not sure what he expected to find but his heart is racing from seeing someone in his bed unexpectedly. Dean’s on his back staring up at the ceiling, stoic until he notices Castiel’s awake. Castiel relaxes back into bed, heart still pounding in his chest from his dream. He tries not to picture Dean naked and pulls the covers up to his shoulders.

“This okay?” Dean asks, his voice barely a whisper. Castiel nods in response, too groggy to speak just yet. 

“At first, it was neat never getting tired you know? I could walk around and explore at night, watch the stars, see the nightlife, but now…” Dean trails off a moment. “I miss just being able to sleep and shut down some nights. At least then I don’t have to think for a few hours,” Dean confesses. 

Cas can’t help but reach out and stroke Dean’s cheek. He’s cold, always freezing, but he’s soft and he almost feels human. “I’m sorry, Dean. For everything,” Cas means it too. 

Watching Dean go through this first hand has shaken something in Cas, makes him wish there was some spell, some cure to bring Dean back. Anything to help him cross over because watching Dean go through each day trapped on an earth he can’t enjoy anymore is breaking Castiel’s heart. Cas doesn’t think when he leans in, when he’s suddenly too close to Dean to back out now. Dean’s lips are ice cold when they touch Castiel’s. He feels breathless, as though Dean could suck the life out of him and Cas suddenly wonders if he can. The kiss is quick, barely there but Cas suddenly regrets it because there’s a new hurt in Dean’s eyes.

Lisa, Cas remembers, Dean was going to propose to her. He avoided bringing her up, afraid it would be too painful for Dean to talk about. Momentarily, Castiel wonders if part of why he never mentioned Lisa is because he didn’t want Dean to leave him. Out of some fear that Dean would abandon him to find a way to her, Castiel kept quiet. Castiel never thought it was possible for ghosts to cry but all the heat is gone from the room and there’s tears, actual tears, sliding down Dean’s cheeks. He reaches out to stroke them from Dean’s cheek but Dean recoils. In a moment, Dean’s gone, like he was never there. Only an echo of him and then, nothing. Castiel doesn’t try to find him, he just lets Dean be alone for the night.

Castiel expects Dean to be gone in the morning, but he’s right beside him. Cold arms heavy around Castiel’s waist. He slips his fingers between Dean’s and Dean strokes his thumb over the back of Castiel’s hand. He doesn’t ask Dean where he went or if he’s okay, he’s just relieved that he came back. Dean pushes and pulls until Castiel’s facing him, so close he can see each freckle on Dean’s face, each scar, and the intensity of Dean’s green eyes. Dean kisses him then, a little more forceful than Castiel was last night. It feels electric, like Dean’s doing everything he can to stay solid.

Dean tastes like a cold winter morning, pleasant enough but Castiel can’t help but wish he knew what Dean really tastes like. If he runs hot normally, what his cologne smells like, because Castiel’s sure Dean wears cologne. He regrets never knowing Dean before and his chest aches like he too lost Dean all those weeks ago. Dean deepens the kiss, pulling Castiel against him likes he’s hungry for him. Castiel holds Dean’s face in his hands as they kiss, Dean’s tongue pushing until Castiel opens up for him. He’s suddenly too hot in his ice cold room, pushing and pulling until he’s hovering over Dean. They part and Castiel is left breathless. In the centuries Castiel has been alive he’s had countless lovers but none of them have kissed him the way Dean has. “I miss that too,” Dean whispers. “I think I missed it the most,” he says. Cas laughs at that. 

“It definitely isn’t bad,” Cas says. Dean laughs with him, but there’s something in his eyes that says there’s more Dean isn’t saying. Castiel doesn’t pry though.

He pulls away because though he’d love to stay in bed all day, he still needs to tend to the garden. Dean watches from the bed as Castiel dresses for the day, pulling on a pair of black jeans and a grey sweater. Before Castiel has the chance to pull the sweater over his head, Dean is suddenly there, so close that Cas can feel how cold he his. Dean presses a hand to Castiel’s chest, watching as goose bumps rise on his skin and then pulling his away once he’s realized what he’s done. Dean frowns at his hand before pressing it to Castiel again.

“Sorry, I guess I just miss touching,” Dean says. Castiel covers Dean’s hand with his own.

“I don’t mind,” Cas assures him. Dean runs his hands over Castiel’s chest, no heat behind the touch. His hands map out Castiel’s skin until he’s felt every bit of exposed skin. Dean wraps his arms around Castiel, pulling him into a bruising hug, his chin resting on Castiel’s shoulder.

“God, you smell so good,” Dean says.

“I didn’t know ghosts could smell,” Castiel says. 

“I can, you smell like strawberries, or something sweet. Maybe honey. And you’re so warm, I always feel so cold now, like I’m trapped in winter.” There’s a note of sadness in Dean’s voice and Cas can’t help but pull Dean in closer. 

“I have to go away someday,” Dean announces as though he’s only realizing it for the first time.

“I know,” Castiel says. “But you’re here now,” he adds. Dean kisses his neck, up his chin until he meets Castiel’s lips. Castiel knows it’s wrong, he knows too well that this will only end badly but it feels so good when he kisses Dean back. 

“What if I just stay here? Do I really need to cross over?” Castiel considers it but feels selfish. He’s not even sure if it’s possible but he wants to tether Dean’s soul to him, make Dean his forever. There’s a spell that can make reapers bound to a person, like a dog on a leash, and Castiel races through every spell he can think of that might bind a soul to a person. There’s just some things magic can’t do.

“One day you’ll cross over and it’ll be wonderful. You’ve done so much good, you deserve it Dean, you deserve to move on to something better.” Dean squeezes Castiel a little tighter, the TV in the corner turns too static and the lights flicker off.

“I hate that,” Dean says. Castiel kisses him again before separating to pull his sweater over his head. 

“Come on, we have some pumpkins to harvest,” Castiel says. After that, they don’t talk about Dean crossing over again, they just enjoy each other’s company, knowing in the back of their minds that the day will come.

Dean helps Castiel carve pumpkins, scraping the guts out with his bare hands because he likes the way it feels. Castiel makes gross faces at Dean as he slops the pumpkin bits into a separate bowl. He’s excited to make pumpkin seeds though, and while Dean can’t enjoy them, he’s excited about them too. He even helps Castiel prepare them, spreading them onto a baking sheet and seasoning them as Castiel gives him instructions. 

They carve faces into their pumpkins as the seeds bake, both of them paying close attention to their patterns to be sure they get a good result. When they finish, Castiel places them on the porch and snaps his fingers, leaving an illuminating light inside. Dean stares at them amazed, as a pale blue light emits from them. Castiel bags the pumpkin seeds into small servings that he can sell the following Monday. Everyone enjoys fresh pumpkin seeds this time of year so he usually sells out pretty quickly. This time of year is when Castiel profits the most because everyone is eager to find the perfect pumpkin and the items in his shop make perfect gifts. He even creates candles with small flowers captured in the wax that people seem to enjoy. 

Being with Dean feels so real until the shops doors open on Monday and no one stops to look or talk to Dean. Dean enjoys lingering nearby, watching as Castiel reads cards and tells fortunes. From time to time a witch will nod in his direction and stop to converse with him but Dean’s otherwise unnoticed. He seems to mind a little less these days, probably used to it now. Before he used to try really hard to be noticed, talking at people hoping they would just look at him, or glance in his direction. Castiel would worry as Dean grew frustrated by the minute, flickering the lights and spooking the customers. Trying to be seen takes a toll on Dean, Castiel notices. Now he just watches as the people interact with each other. 

Cas watches Dean as he restocks shelves late into the afternoon, most of the people filtered out by now. People are scarce now so Dean doesn’t have to worry about someone accidentally seeing a floating book or knickknack. Dean takes his job seriously, like he’ll lose his job if the crystals aren’t aligned just perfectly. Cas admires that about Dean, how gentle he is with everything because he knows how much it all means to Castiel. He’s about to close the shop when the bell chimes and someone walks in. Dean drops something on the floor and when Castiel checks on him he finds Sam standing in the middle of his shop looking lost. There’s a broken jar on the ground and Dean’s mouth is open, staring at Sam as if he’s a ghost. Sam though, he walks past him like there’s nothing there. Castiel flicks his wrist, calling a broom to sweep up the mess, not caring if Sam sees a bit of magic.

“Can I help you?” Castiel asks because he can’t think of anything better to say.

“Uh, I was just, I didn’t really know if I would find you here but you said you read tarot cards,” Sam says in way of explanation. “I was wondering if Dean might still be around,” Sam says, eyes cast to the ground. 

Last time they spoke, Sam seemed completely disinterested in seeing his brother. Sam was too hurt by the idea of seeing this version of his brother, the one that floats through walls. Castiel doesn’t blame Sam though, it’s hard enough losing someone, but to know their soul is tethered to the earth is difficult. Sam and Dean had a heartfelt goodbye, both of them crying as they spoke their final words to each other. He wonders if staying away was too difficult for Sam, if maybe he would prefer to spend more time with Dean while he can.

“Oh. Well, yeah he’s still here,” Cas says. Dean watches Sam and Castiel can feel the temperature drop and the lights flicker as though Dean’s trying everything he can to become solid enough for Sam to see. 

“I think I might’ve found what he’s tethered too,” Sam says. “I didn’t want to burn it just yet though, just in case,” he adds. 

“Oh,” Cas says. He stares down at Sam’s hands and in the middle of his palm is Dean’s necklace.

“I thought it might come in handy,” Sam says. He places it in Castiel’s hand gingerly. The memories flood Castiel’s mind again, then as if it never happened, he’s back in the shop holding the necklace. “Thanks,” Castiel says. He stares down at the necklace trying to make some meaning out of it.

“Is he here, now?” Sam asks. Cas looks at him for the first time and notices how drawn his cheeks are and how dark his eyes are. He feels guilty, like he’s the reason Sam is so broken. 

“Yes, he’s here.” Cas replies.

“Tell him I miss him,” Dean blurts. Castiel repeats Dean’s request.

“I miss you too,” Sam says. It’s quiet a moment. Dean reaches out to put a hand on Sam’s shoulder and his brother gasps as though he can feel it.

“Why can’t I see him anymore?” Sam asks.

“I’m not sure what causes it, some days he’s just more solid than others. There’s still a lot that I’m learning about ghosts” Cas says. 

“Is there anything you can do to make him more solid?” Sam seems desperate, like he’s hoping Cas has an answer that he doesn’t have.

“I don’t think I have a spell for that,” Castiel says. “It has something to do with energy though, the more he has the more solid he is, but it doesn’t last very long.” 

“Oh,” Sam says.

“I could call the next time he’s solid again, that way could see him,” Castiel offers. There’s no guarantee it could work but it’s worth a try.

“No, no I don’t think I could do that again,” Sam says. “I mean I’d like to it’s just, it’s hard moving on.” He explains. 

“I understand.” Castiel says. Dean looks hurt by that, frustrated enough to flicker the lights and Sam jumps when Dean is suddenly there in front of him. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” Dean says. His smile falters. He hugs Sam before he can say anything, Cas admires their devotion to each other.

“You don’t have to move on if I don’t,” Dean says. Sam’s startled by the suggestion, brows pinching together into a frown. “If the necklace is what’s keeping me here then we leave it alone. It stays and I stay,” Dean says. 

“Dean you can’t mean that,” Sam replies. “After everything we’ve been through, every demon and ghost we’ve hunted you should know this won’t end well.” Sam’s willing Dean to understand but Dean shrugs as though he doesn’t care.

“I’m not going to end up like that, Sammy. I have no grudges, I don’t want revenge. I’m just a peaceful ghost wandering around enjoying the afterlife,” Dean says. “Besides if I do go crazy you and Cas have exactly what you need to put me to rest for good.” Sam seems to consider it, his face pained like he’s fighting himself to say no. Cas understands the feeling because even though he knows Dean has to leave some day, he holds onto the idea that Dean might never move on.

“What’s the point if I can’t even see you most days? Yeah you’re still here enjoying life and roaming around but it’s not the same. You’re still gone because I can’t see you or talk to you, or even share a beer with you,” Sam says. His voice shakes with emotion and Cas can’t help but feel that same sadness. 

“I’m not ready to go, Sam,” Dean says. The air seems to change in the room and Castiel shivers. “I’m not ready to find out what’s behind that curtain because once I go there’s no turning back,” the lights flicker again. Castiel places a placating palm on Dean’s shoulder to calm him down. They both stare at Dean with the same sympathetic look on their faces.

“Is there any spell, any sort of magic that could fix this?” Sam asks, desperation in his voice. Cas wishes he knew a way to fix everything, to make Dean whole again. He’d do it in a heartbeat. He’s heard of necromancers but that’s powerful dark magic, way beyond anything he can manage. Fairies are pretty powerful but it’s nearly impossible to track them down, they live in a dimension of their own. 

“I’m sorry,” he says. “Necromancers were banned centuries ago and there’s a not a single witch I know with that kind of power. You’d need a miracle,” Cas answers. Dean looks down at the ground shaking his head.

“So this is it for me then? No turning back?” He asks, voice wracked with despair. The stereo in Castiel’s shop skips a few channels before static fills the room. Sam breathes and Castiel can see his breath. 

“I’m sorry Dean,” Castiel responds. 

“God, this really sucks,” Dean says. “I thought dying was bad but actually being dead, being here like this, this is worse.” There’s no anger in Dean’s words, only sadness. 

“We could try,” Castiel wants to swallow the words as soon as they leave his mouth. “We could find an old tome, there’s bound to be something somewhere. There’s no guarantees but we could give it a shot,” Sam and Dean both look to Castiel, shocked.

“You would do that?” Sam asks, as though he can’t believe it.

“That’s if I can even find a spell, which is a long shot. But if we find something, I can try but compared to most witches I’m just a speck. There’s no knowing if I’ll even have enough strength to pull it off,” Castiel says.

“What happens if you can’t?” Dean asks.

“At worst, you’ll still be a ghost,” Cas says.

“So it wouldn’t hurt to try, I mean nothing bad could happen right?”

“No, I suppose not,” Castiel says. “But I don’t want to get your hopes up in case this doesn’t work. In case you have to stay this way, you should prepare yourself because if you can’t come back you will have to cross over at some point Dean,” Castiel says. 

“Okay,” Dean says, rubbing his palms together. “Let’s search for an ancient tome, then.”


	3. Secret Library

Weeks pass before Cas or Dean have any lead on a spell that can bring Dean back to life. Castiel’s beginning to believe every blood spell is burned or buried when he remembers an old library just on the edge of town. He doubts he’ll find the spell they need but, the libraries old enough that there’s a chance. He and Dean drive out early on a Saturday morning, Castiel’s shop closed for the weekend. The ride is tense, both Cas and Dean too anxious at the prospect of making Dean human again. Castiel taps his fingers against the steering wheel to the tune of a song while Dean watches trees and houses pass by him.

Castiel parks in front of the library, an old building that looks like a cathedral from the outside. Gargoyles cover the building and the front door reminds Castiel of something he’d see on a castle, bronze and heavy as he pulls it open. It creaks loudly and echoes through the building when he enters. Inside, the walls are engraved with Latin phrases and in the hall is a sign with directions. Castiel walks over to a directory, a giant book laid open on a counter, while Dean wanders around opening books and closing them once he realizes they’re all in a language he can’t read. 

Castiel scans the lists, flipping through page after page until he comes across a page titled, “ancient tomes.” There’s a hall and room number that corresponds with it so Castiel scribbles it down in his journal and closes the directory again. Then, he turns back to the sign in the hall to find a direction to walk in. The building is organized almost like an airport, signs with letters and arrows pointing in every direction. Castiel just wish it came with escalators as well. He waves his hand for Dean follow him as they make their way down H hallway, searching for the room they need. As they walk, Dean pops in and out of rooms inspecting books before returning to Castiel.

“What is this place?” He asks, once he realizes it’s not a normal library.

“This is where witches keep copies of old texts and grimoires. It’s like a library but for witches and you can’t actually check anything out,” Cas answers. 

“What do these walls say?” Dean asks, pointing to a phrase as they pass by it. Cas turns to catch a glimpse. 

“They’re warnings and old quotes from elders,” Cas says.

“What kind of warnings?” Dean asks, a little spooked.

“Just reminders not to steal from the library or destroy the property. Everything here is ancient and there’s very few copies of these texts so it’s important everything remain here and intact,” Castiel advises Dean. Castiel would love to spend a day searching through each room, reading old texts and learning everything he can. He supposes he has his entire life to read though, today they’re on a mission.

“I never knew these existed,” Dean says. 

“It’s a well-kept secret,” Cas says. Dean nods and stares at another row of script as they continue down the hall.

Dean and Cas make a series of turns, walking what feels like miles but is probably only a few feet, before they find the room they’re looking for. Dean flits across the room to the first shelf of books. Castiel starts from the entrance of the room, running his finger over book spines, reading them to find anything related to what he needs. Some of the books are actually journals so Castiel has to pull them from the shelf and open them to know what’s inside. An hour passes before he’s moved on to the next shelf. His feet and neck hurt from standing to read passages. He feels exhausted but he pushes on, pulling another book from the shelf.

Dean’s been wandering around the room, examining shelves but not being sure what they say. There’s a few books written in English but most of the books are Latin. Dean suggests, belatedly, that Cas should’ve brought Sam because he can actually read the dead language. Cas tries to remember that for the next time they need to read through old texts. Castiel yawns and pulls another old journal from the shelf. The spine is worn leather, or what Castiel hopes is leather. He remembers his old teachers explaining how some witches used skin to write their spells on. 

Castiel begins skimming through, reading each title to the entries and studying the photos for anything that resembles what he’s looking for. Each sketch is detailed, some of them body parts, others of ingredients for a particular spell. He reads a spell for growing a new limb from the lost one. Some of the pages are stained with what he assumes is blood and recognizes this as blood magic. Castiel brings the book to a long table set in the center of the room. Dean sits beside Castiel and watches as he skips through pages. Some of the pages have spells and others are stories of how the author slowly became mad with power, nearly killing himself for most of his spells. 

Castiel’s heart stops when he finally finds it. Right before him is a small illustration of the author bringing someone back the life. Castiel reads the text repeatedly, unable to believe he was able to find it. Quickly, he pulls his small journal from his pocket and begins writing the text exactly as it’s written. He copies pages of notes, sketches the ingredients as he sees them and is sure to copy all the warnings that accompany it. There’s a catch that Castiel expected, but he’ll work in out later. For now, he’s just content that he finally has a spell to work with. Castiel flips through the rest of the journal, reading the last of the spells and the author’s story. 

When he’s finished, Castiel replaces the journal on the shelf where he found it. Castiel keeps quiet as he walks back to his car, too nervous to speak when he can’t be sure who is listening. Blood magic is strictly forbidden because of its destructive and dark nature. Anyone who attempts to use blood magic is usually killed in the process and if they survive they’re persecuted for the remainder of their lives. Castiel’s heart begins to race at the thought of having witches and hunters after him for the remainder of his life. He’ll just have to be cautious, he realizes.

Castiel waits until they’re a few miles from the library before he tells Dean about what he found. “We can’t be sure it will actually work, but it’s the spell we need,” he says. “We have to be careful though, Dean. If anyone catches on to what we’re doing, I’ll be killed and you’ll be exorcised,” Castiel warns. 

“Okay, keeping my mouth shut shouldn’t be a problem. What all do we need to make it work?” Dean asks. 

“A lot of rare ingredients and a few I can find in my garden. Some of these ingredients though, it’s hard to know if we can even find them,” Castiel says. He runs through the list in his head again. “I’ll need Sam’s help on this,” he says, looking to Dean. “I’m sure he’ll be glad to help,” Dean says. Castiel nods in response, nervous to say what needs saying.

Castiel clears his throat and adjusts in his seat before he finally speaks again. “Dean we need to discuss how your life will be if this spell does work,” he begins. Dean looks at him with a question on his face. “If you’re restored, you still may not be able to return to your old life or see the people you used to know,” he lets his words sink into Dean for a moment.

“You mean Lisa,” Dean says. The temperature drops a few degrees and Castiel’s fingers flex on the steering wheel. It’s the first time Dean’s said her name since he showed up at Castiel’s all those nights ago. Dean’s jaw tenses and he stares out the window, no reflection on the glass to show Cas what Dean is feeling. Cas stares ahead at the road instead feeling the chill grow in the car.

“I’m sorry, Dean,” Castiel says. Dean shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders.

“Way I see it, I was never going to see her again anyways being dead and all. If it worked and I was brought back, it’d just hurt her to see me now,” Dean says as though he’s trying to convince himself that he’s okay with it.

All the heat’s been removed from the car and Cas knows just how Dean feels. He turns the radio to some classic rock station that Dean likes and tries to lift Dean’s mood, even a little. After a while, Dean begins to sing along to the radio as Castiel follows the winding roads back home. He feels exhausted by the time they return to his little house, tired from driving and reading for hours. Dean flits inside ahead of Castiel, causing the wind to kick up and leaves to stir near his feet. Castiel worries for a moment that Dean will wear himself thin but it just motivates him further. 

Castiel feels obligated to do all he can to ensure Dean’s human again, as if he’s solely responsible for Dean’s well-being. He supposes he is now that Dean’s a ghost whose friend’s list is down to Castiel and any witch that stops by the shop. Without Castiel, Dean would be wandering the earth alone, searching for a final resting place without a map. He’s sure Dean would’ve stayed close to his brother, watching and following on the off chance that Sam could see him. Maybe he would’ve haunted Lisa, the thought makes Castiel tense his jaw. He can’t imagine a worse fate than watching the person you love without ever being able to talk to them again.

Tomorrow, Castiel will tell Sam about the spell and they’ll create a plan to gather the ingredients they need to bring Dean back. Perhaps it’ll take weeks or even months, but so long as Dean is still haunting Castiel, he’s going to try to make it work. He’ll study the spell and the author’s writing’s as much as he can to learn all he needs. Castiel feels empowered almost, as if the spell could really work and he could be the one to cast it. He holds onto that feeling as long as he can before the nerves can makes his hands shake. 

When the sun sets and Castiel settles into bed, Dean lays beside him and wraps an arm around his waist. In these moments, Dean almost feels warm. Like whatever heat is left in him in seeping into Castiel and Castiel enjoys just how human he feels. Castiel closes his eyes and dreams of a Dean whose skin isn’t pale and whose fingers aren’t frozen. He dreams of a Dean with flushed cheeks and warm hands that fit so perfectly in his own. A Dean that hasn’t lived a life on the road, broken and defeated from years of basing his self-worth on how many lives he saves. 

Castiel invites Sam over in the morning to discuss the spell and how he plans to find the ingredients they need. Sam rushes over, eager to get started. Ever since Castiel offered to help, Sam has been traveling trying to find as many leads as possible. They were both prepared to give up on finding a spell, each day seeming to drag on and only end in disappointment when a lead didn’t follow through. Sam reads over the translated list of ingredients that Castiel gives him to see if there’s any he knows how to find. Being hunters, Castiel is sure Sam and Dean know how to get their hands on ancient and rare items. Sam marks the ingredients he knows he can find but there’s still a few that they still aren’t sure how to track down.

“This is all we need?” Sam asks, as if he’s reading a grocery list.

“Should be, yes,” he responds. 

“Okay, it’ll take me a while but I think I can find some of these,” Sam says, shoving the list into his pocket. After a moment he says, “thanks Cas, for everything you’re doing. I know you’re risking a lot for this.” 

“We all are,” Cas says. “Besides, there’s no one more deserving than Dean,” Cas adds. Sam and Dean both look at him after that, Sam’s eyebrows furrowing into a question. 

Castiel invites Sam to stay for dinner and prepares eggplant lasagna for the both of them. Dean sits at the table with them, though Sam can’t see him today. Dean’s been trying, the flickering lights giving him away each time he tries to force his presence. 

Castiel places a hand on Dean’s shoulder to placate him before forking another bite of food into his mouth. Sam watches as Castiel’s hand rests on nothing, his eyebrows pinched in a way that makes Castiel sympathetic. He wants the spell to work a little more each time Sam looks at him like that, like he’s lost without Dean in his life. 

Sam helps Castiel wash the dishes and thanks him for the leftovers before he leaves, already prepared to start driving towards the first item on his list. Castiel thinks about the remaining items that Sam won’t be able to track and wonders if he can find them on his own. The library might be able to shed some light on how to track down some of these items, but it will have to wait for another day. Castiel needs to prepare his shop for a new day, restocking items and cleaning the floors. Dean waters the plants for Castiel, then hovers behind him as he prepares for bed. 

Dean sticks close to Castiel these days, like Castiel’s personal shadow. Knowing he’s never alone is comforting so Castiel welcomes Dean’s presence, even as he prepares for his shower. Castiel doesn’t think twice as he strips off his clothes and quickly steps into the shower before he freezes in the autumn air. Dean lingers in the bathroom, talking to Castiel as he washes himself about nothing in particular. Castiel enjoys how comfortable having Dean around is but, the easier it becomes having Dean around the more Castiel worries about what will happen when Dean is alive again.

Castiel knows that Dean’s a hunter and that, more than anything, he wants to be with his brother slaying monsters. However, Castiel greedily wants Dean to stay in his home keeping him company. He wants Dean to wear stupid sweaters and drink coffee with Cas in the morning. To join him on grocery runs, and walks in the park. Simply put, Castiel wants Dean to stay, to linger the way he does now. He knows it’s unrealistic though, once Dean’s alive again he’ll be able to meet new people and explore the world just like he used to. Dean can meet other people and drive as far away as he wants once he’s human again.

Castiel rinses the conditioner from his hair and steps out of the shower. Dean’s tracing patterns on the mirror that will fade by tomorrow. Castiel dries off and dresses for bed, pulling his boxers over his waist before he grabs for his shirt. Dean turns to him then, snatching the t-shirt from Castiel’s hands before he can slip it over his head. His skin prickles with goosebumps partly because of the cold weather and partly because Dean’s crowding in closer. He inhales and for a moment he thinks he can imagine what Dean smells like.

Dean kisses him with a push of soft lips against his own, a stray hand pushing through his wet hair. Castiel kisses back hungrily, pulling Dean closer until their hips line up. Dean feels solid against him, which is a surprise because Dean’s anything but. He grabs at Dean’s jacket wishing he could remove the layers but he’s not sure they’ll budge if he tries. Something within him aches for Dean in a way he hasn’t before, lust maybe, or perhaps something more. Dean groans as he kisses Castiel now, pulling his head back with a tug of his hair and Castiel moans, he can’t help it. Dean’s the first to back away, he releases Castiel’s hair and steps far enough away for Castiel to want to grab him and pull him close again.

“I don’t think I can,” Dean starts before Castiel cuts him off.

“No, it’s fine,” Castiel says, understanding what Dean’s trying to say. He knew this would never go further than making out. He kisses Dean again and snatches his shirt back, pulling it over his head and making his way to his bedroom. 

“If the spell works though,” Dean suggests with a tilt of his head. Castiel chuckles softly at that as he pulls the corner of his comforter down so he can slip beneath it. He likes the thought though, but likes the idea of Dean staying with him more. 

“I’ll hold you to it,” Castiel says. 

Normally, Dean rests on top of the sheets, a weightless presence, while Castiel sleeps. Tonight, Dean slips beneath the sheets with Castiel and allows Castiel to curl into him and rest his head on Dean’s chest. Dean’s only been staying with Castiel for a couple of months now but it feels so natural for him to press a cheek to Dean’s jaw and place an arm around him as if Dean belongs to him. 

Sam reports in with news about the first item on his list about a week after he left. He’s in some small town in Nebraska staying in a rundown hotel. He was able to find the first item, though he did have to steal it from a museum, which makes Cas panic until Sam explains that it’s part of his job as a hunter. Of all the rules he expected to break along the way, Cas never once considered he’d have to steal or break into someone’s home. Suddenly, it all seems that much more complicated. Cas advises Sam to stay safe before he hangs up the phone and relays everything to Dean. 

In the time Sam’s been gone, Castiel has gotten a location for another item but isn’t sure how to actually get the item. He needs a dragon scale, which a witch oversees claims to have in her possession. Though, even if Castiel had the money, he’s not sure how he would convince the woman to hand it over. He rubs his eyes feeling hopeless when Dean looks over his shoulder to read the article he has pulled up on his laptop. Castiel tries to think of how much money he has in his savings but he would need to sell out his entire shop to afford a plane ticket on top of his bills. 

“You found it,” Dean says in disbelief. “That’s awesome,” he says, a smile spreading across his face now. Castiel sighs.

“If only I was able to get it though, I can’t afford a plane ticket,” he says frowning at Dean. Dean seems to consider this, his brain working on a solution.

“What if I know someone who can get it for us?” He asks. Castiel raises an eyebrow at that. “I know someone who has a bit of power, he could probably travel and get it for us.” Dean offers.

“Who is that?” Castiel asks, in disbelief. 

“A demon named Crowley,” he says. Castiel’s mouth drops at that. He’s heard all the rumors about the Winchesters, how they locked up Lucifer and threw away the key. He’s also heard about Crowley and how he claimed the throne to Hell as soon as he could. The witches talk and they know not the interfere with him because he has somewhat of a grudge when it comes to witches. He shudders at the thought of working with a demon like him. 

“How do you know Crowley?” 

“What, him, we go way back,” Dean says. Castiel marvels at how Dean can make anything seem simpler than it is. Like being friends with the new ruler of Hell isn’t a big deal. 

“Dean this is serious, I need to know you can trust him.” Castiel says. Dean straightens up and looks down at Castiel and Castiel hates the way it makes him feel like a child who just asked a dumb question in class.

“I wouldn’t suggest it if I didn’t think it would work,” Dean says. Cas considers it, without Crowley they’ll be waiting for Cas to save up enough for a plane ticket. He hates the idea of working with a demon but they have no other choice.

“Fine. How do we contact him?” 

Dean drops the match and smoke erupts from the bowl on the alter. Castiel traced out the devil’s trap in preparation and though he knows it will hold a demon he’s still uneasy. He’s startled when Crowley appears just before them, arms out in a question like Dean’s done this before. He looks down at his feet at the devil’s trap and rolls his eyes like it’s a small annoyance to him. Castiel looks to Dean for guidance.

“Really, Dean?” Crowley says, already annoyed. “What’s different about you, do something with your hair?” He asks once he gets a good look at the ghost in front of him. 

“Yeah, it’s called being dead,” Dean says bluntly. He saunters in front of the alter and stands in front of Crowley.

“What do you need, Dean?” Crowley stuffs his hands into his coat pockets and waits for Dean to respond. Castiel stays behind the alter where he feels safe. 

“I need your help but first I need to know if I can trust you,” Dean says. Crowley rolls his eyes again and Castiel worries this was a bad idea. 

“Christ, what is it with you Winchesters and needing favors? What is it this time?” Crowley asks.

“We need some ingredients for a spell and you might be able to get them for us,” Crowley looks over at Castiel for the first time when Dean’s finished speaking. He thinks of the nearest weapon and the quickest spell he can cast to send Crowley on his ass if he needs to.

“So, what’s in it for me?” He asks. 

“You get to feel really good about yourself for once,” Dean says like it’s a joke. Crowley’s eyes narrow at that.

“You really think I’m going to lift a finger for you just out of goodwill?” Crowley shouts the words at Dean. 

“What do you want?” Dean asks. Crowley considers this, tilting his head to the side as he thinks it over. 

“First, I want to know what kind of spell you’re trying to cook up,” Crowley says. 

“A revival spell,” Dean says. Crowley laughs at that, his head thrown back as though Dean told him a joke.

“No way you could pull that off,” Crowley says. Dean steels himself, looking Crowley in the eyes so he knows Dean is serious. 

“And just how did you get your hands on something like that?” Crowley asks. 

Dean smirks. “Call it good old fashioned research,” he says. 

“You sure it even works?” Crowley asks. 

“It’s been used before,” Castiel answers for Dean. They both turn to him. “In the journal I read, it worked.” He explains. Crowley considers this a moment. 

“I want the journal,” Crowley says. It’s Dean’s turn to laugh now.

“I do that and I’m dead, again,” he says. 

“Better not get caught then,” Crowley says. Dean rolls his eyes.

“A copy is as good as we can do,” he says. Crowley seems to consider it. 

“What do you need?” He asks.

Dean explains how they need the dragon scale but the seller is across the ocean and stubborn as hell. Castiel waits in the other room as they discuss the details of their arrangement. He’s partly annoyed to have a demon in his home and isn’t thrilled at the idea of giving Crowley insight to rare blood magic. He keeps his mouth shut and reminds himself that they all have to make sacrifices if they want Dean to be alive again. Castiel tries to busy himself in the store front as he waits for whatever conversation Dean and Crowley are having to end.

Dean returns a while later, Crowley gone in a puff of smoke, and relays the conversation to Castiel. Crowley will help them track down the other items they need as well. Castiel’s surprised to hear that, seeing as it was difficult to get him to agree to getting just one. With Sam and Crowley’s help, the possibility to bringing Dean back seems more and more real. Castiel shakes the nerves away, suddenly worried about his ability to pull it off. No mage has attempted blood magic is centuries, not since it was outlawed. Dean must sense his unease and he pulls Castiel into him, one arm wrapped around his waist and one cupping his cheek. Dean kisses him tenderly and it eases some of the tension out of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I was late about updating today, I got a little busy this morning. I hope everyone enjoys the new chapter. Next week I will be uploading the final chapter! If you're interested, I am creating a new illustration for each chapter based on tarot cards. Those will be uploaded to my tumblr, bruisedcastiel.tumblr.com.  
> Thank you everyone who reads and enjoys this fic!


	4. Blood Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter of this series. Castiel finally casts the spell to bring Dean to life, but does he succeed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before anyone reads this chapter, I just want to say this is the most intense chapter of the story. Some warnings include, mentions of blood and mentions of death and mentions of self harm (similar to events in an older episode of supernatural). I would say this is the creepy spookiest bit. I just wanted to let everyone know before you jumped in. If you want to skip passed it, this chapter does have a happy ending!

Castiel becomes restless as they gather more and more ingredients. Sam’s traveled across the country now, calling to check in each time he finds a new hotel. Crowley is silent for days at a time, only calling Dean each time he needs a new location. Occasionally, he pops into Castiel’s home, startling him each time. He hates that this is becoming a routine but, just as promised, Crowley always hands over a new ingredient when he visits. Castiel visits the library again and he gives Crowley a couple new pages each time he visits. Cas can’t think of why a demon who hates witches would want a spell book but as long as it doesn’t interfere with Castiel’s life, he can’t bother to care.

Mostly he’s focused on the spell and keeping his home and shop running. The closer it gets to winter, the harder he has to work to maintain the plants in his greenhouse. He never feels like he’s doing enough to help the cause because he’s mostly spends his days at home with Dean. Dean reminds him that he’s the one who will have to cast the spell and the one who found it in the first place. Still, Castiel hates sitting around doing nothing while Sam is halfway across the country fighting demons and witches all for the spell. 

All of it begins to feel real when Sam calls him to inform him he’s found the final item. Castiel’s sitting on the couch with Dean watching reruns of an old television show when he gets the call. Sam’s a few states a way so it will be about a week before he returns but Cas and Dean both smile at the thought. Crowley still has a few items to track down on his list and as long as Castiel continues to hand over the pages to the journal, Crowley will continue to help them. When Castiel hangs up the phone, Dean kisses him so hard Castiel worries he’ll have a bruise, but he feels just as excited as Dean does. The channels on the television switch around as Dean continues to kiss Castiel and he wonders which emotion is causing them to switch.

They wait eagerly for Sam to return, counting down the days until there’s a knock on Castiel’s door. Sam is drenched from the rain with a duffle bag in hand. Castiel offers to dry his clothes for Sam as he settles into the guest room Castiel prepared for him. Dean follows Sam around the house even though Sam can’t see him tonight. Dean just enjoys being near his brother when he can be, Castiel assumes it has something to with how protective Dean is of Sam. He remembers being the same way with this younger sister, always staying close by incase he was needed. Castiel prepares dinner and sometime during their meal Dean becomes mostly solid again, if only for a little while.

Dean and Sam talk through the night, catching up on all the things Dean’s wanted to tell Sam but couldn’t and Sam tells Dean about his recent hunts. Dean gets a gleam in his eyes like he can’t wait to grab a shot gun and run out on a hunt again. Castiel tells himself it doesn’t bother him because Dean’s entire life has been about hunting, ever since his mother died. He tries not to interject when Dean talks about hunting as though it’s as fun as a summer camp that he’s dying to get back too. Instead, Castiel busies himself with filling out his journal. 

Ever since he was boy Castiel’s kept a journal and this one is specifically about Dean. Castiel knew so little about ghosts and their abilities until he met Dean. Usually, when they show up Castiel sends them on their way. Having Dean here is teaching him new information about how ghosts and their abilities. He also writes down each place they located an ingredient for spell in case he ever needs to find them again. He never expected them to get this far, to be this close to holding a living and breathing version of Dean. As the night winds down, Castiel finds himself sketching Dean in his journal. There’s dozens of sketches now, all of Dean in the same jacket and dirt smeared on his shirt.

Castiel tries to picture Dean in anything but his old leather jacket and realizes Dean will need a whole new wardrobe when he’s human. He makes a note to go shopping for Dean so he’ll have clothes to change into once he’s human again. After spending an entire afterlife in the same outfit, Castiel’s sure Dean will be eager to change into new clothes. If he returns to Castiel’s, that is. He frowns down at his journal and closes it for the night. Sam and Dean are still talking at the dinner table when Castiel finds them. He bids them a goodnight before heading off to bed. Just as Castiel’s walking away, Dean catches up to him and kisses his cheek. 

There’s the sound of shuffling and a whispered, “oh,” from Sam that Castiel catches. Dean turns on his heel to face his brother. “Sorry, I just didn’t realize,” Sam says when he notices them both facing his direction. 

“Uh, yeah, I never really mentioned it,” Dean says shuffling on his feet.

“I just thought that with Lisa,” Sam lets the sentence die in his mouth. 

Dean shakes his head and rubs his eyes. “Yeah, no I just, Cas has really been here for me lately, so,” Dean tries to explain. Sam nods.

“It’s good, then,” Sam says. “It’s good to have someone.” 

Dean kisses Castiel again and then ushers him off to sleep so they can continue their conversation in private. Castiel climbs the stairs feeling like a mistress even though he knows he did nothing wrong. Still, he feels like he’s crawling in his skin when he slides into bed. They never tried to contact Lisa, never tried to let Dean see her one last time and now, if this works, Dean won’t be able to see her again. Castiel hugs his spare pillow to his chest and tries not to think about Dean and Lisa as he drifts off to sleep. Sam and Dean are in the greenhouse when Crowley pops into the shop with the last item on the list. Cas nearly jumps out of skin and knocks over a potted succulent. He curses under his breath, snaps his fingers and summons a broom to sweep up the mess. Crowley laughs at the sight. Cas reminds himself that despite being a demon, Crowley’s helping Dean and him. He rolls his eyes and searches through his desk for the remaining pages he copied for Crowley. 

“That’s the last of it,” Cas says, handing over the pages. Crowley accepts them and tucks them into his coat. 

“You don’t want to know what I had to do to get that,” Crowley says as he hands over the final ingredient. 

“Thank you, Crowley,” Castiel opens a box containing a severed finger, not human, but disturbing nevertheless. He seals it again and is surprised to see Crowley still standing in front of him. “Need something?” He asks, not really caring for the answer.

“Do you really know what you’re doing or are you playing the equivalent of magical dress up?” Castiel sets the box aside and decides he’s tired of playing nice with a demon. 

“I’m more powerful than you seem to realize,” he threatens. Crowley chuckles at that, his head tossed back as though Castiel’s told him a funny joke. 

“Simmer down, no one’s saying you don’t have the stones to attempt it, but what happens when you recite your little love spell and nothing happens?”

“It’s not a love spell and it’s none of your business, not anymore,” Castiel says. 

“Does pretty know about the part where you’re supposed to bleed for him?” Cas meets Crowley’s eyes. He looks smug, as if this is all a game to him. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“You’re not the only one with a copy of the spell now,” Crowley says matter-of-factly. “Say’s it right in the fine print that you need to spill a little blood, or did you forget that part?” Castiel’s not sure where this conversation is going anymore but he wants Crowley to leave.

“I’m not an idiot,” he says, stepping into Crowley’s space. 

“Seems idiotic to me, laying down your life for a hunter you hardly know. How can you be sure he’s not going to kill you once he’s mortal? You think you can use a little blood magic and it will all be okay just because he’s your boyfriend?” Castiel’s fist connects with Crowley’s face, his knuckles sting with pain once he realizes what he’s done. He waits for the inevitable blow in return, a hand on his throat, anything. 

“Watch yourself,” Crowley says before he’s gone, like he was never there. 

Castiel shakes out his fist, his hand burns from the hit but he mostly can’t stop thinking about Crowley’s words. He kept a few steps from Sam and Dean but if another witch can be successful then so can he. He turns to the broken pot on the ground, gathering the pieces in his hands as Dean flits into the room. He’s good at it now, traveling from room to room in merely seconds. Castiel will never get used to sensation as the heat is pulled from the room violently each time Dean appears. Whispering a spell under his breathe, Castiel repairs the pot and returns it to his desk. 

“What was that about?” Dean asks. The lights flicker as he speaks and Cas can swear there’s static in his voice now.

“What was what about?” He asks, hoping that Dean missed their fight.

“What Crowley said, what did he mean when he said you had to bleed for me?” Castiel sags his shoulders.

“You knew this was blood magic, Dean. The spell requires fresh blood to work,” he says, looking Dean in the eyes as he speaks. Dean’s brows furrow at that as though Castiel’s words have offended him.

“How come you didn’t tell me?” Castiel shivers, the shop suddenly freezing. Another light bulb bursts and Castiel hopes he has another spare to replace it. 

“Because it’s not a big deal. Other mages have bled for this spell and survived, I’ll do the same,” he looks at the ground where there’s bits of glass scattered about.

“Yeah, stronger mages bled for this Cas. You said it yourself, you’re not as strong as them. I’m not doing this if it’s going to hurt you, or worse kill you,” Deans yelling now, the static growing louder. 

“Dean, you need to calm down,” Cas tries, already wanting the argument to be over. He’s well aware of the risks and wouldn’t attempt the spell if he wasn’t sure he could survive it. 

“I’m not calming down, Cas,” some of the books on his shelves fall with potted plants following after. A wind stirs, rustling the whole shop and Castiel can feel it in his bones. He feels rattled, like the life is being sucked from him. 

“And I’m not giving up on this,” Cas says. 

“What the hell is going on?” Sam asks, shocked when he sees the mess in the shop.

“We’re doing this, tonight. Crowley just dropped off the last ingredient,” Cas picks up the box and maneuvers around Dean. 

“Tonight? What do you need me to do?” Sam asks, following Cas. He leads them to his basement where he keeps his alter. 

“I need the ingredients you collected,” he says. Sam nods, leaving him to grab the things he’s collected. 

Dean’s in the basement when Castiel reaches the bottom step. He waves his hands, lighting a row of candles against the wall and more on his alter. The chill in the air nearly blows them back up and Cas worries for a moment that Dean might not be able to calm down enough for him to cast the spell. He sets all his ingredients aside and flips to the page in his journal that has the spell. His heart is beating loud in his chest and his hands are shaking. Castiel closes his eyes and tries to quell the fear inside of him because he only has one chance to make the spell work given how limited the ingredients are. 

“Dean,” he says, not begs. Dean’s next to him in a moment, the warmth is returning to the room and Cas takes it as a good sign. 

“What do you need Cas?” Dean asks, his hands cupping Castiel’s cheeks. Castiel leans into Dean and kisses him like he means it, like this could be the last one because it could. If Cas doesn’t get this the first time, then Dean has to move on right? Dean can’t keep following Cas around forever. He holds onto to Dean, afraid to let go, scared that this will be the last time he can do this. 

“Cas, Cas it’s fine. You got this, you can do this,” Dean kisses him again, gentle and sweet. For a moment, Dean is warm. “And even if you can’t, I’ll be fine. I promise,” he adds.

“Let’s get started,” Cas says as they seperate. 

Sam returns with the ingredients he’s brought and assembles them on Castiel’s alter. Having hunters standing in his basement, helping him prepare to cast blood magic is strange. Castiel isn’t the type to cast dark magic, let alone blood magic but he hopes he has the strength to pull it off. His heart races, suddenly aware of how risky this is if they get caught. He tries to focus on measuring out the ingredients, combining them all into a bowl. Sam watches as he mixes them together. He’s practiced the incantation a few times to get the pronunciations down and knows he’s ready now, he just has to start. 

“You need to lay down for this, Dean,” Cas says. He points to a small cot that’s old, it belonged to his father years ago and Cas just never threw it away. Dean nods and lays down with his hands folded over his chest and waits.

“Just in case this doesn’t work or something bad happens, Sam, I need you to promise you won’t feel guilty for me dying. Not ever, okay?” Sam looks like he might cry, silent tears welling in his eyes as he nods. 

“Yeah, okay,” he hugs Dean one last time before stepping away. 

“And, watch out for Cas, make sure nothing bad happens to him. I probably would’ve turned into some twisted spirit if it wasn’t for him,” Dean continues. “If it looks hairy, if it looks like this might go sideways you get Cas out of here and keep him safe.” 

“Everything’s going to be fine, Dean,” Sam says. He turns to Castiel and asks, “right?” 

Cas averts his eyes but nods. “It’s going to be okay,” he promises. Sam nods back.

Castiel drops Dean’s necklace into the bowl and smoke begins to fill the room, small puffs of it trailing into the air. He watches the smoke for a moment, entranced by the image. He begins reciting the words feeling the atmosphere in the room change, like he’s suddenly been transported somewhere new. A few glass bottles rattle but none of them break, and the candle light dances. Castiel’s through the first verse when Dean begins to wheeze as though he can’t breathe and his panic begins to grow. There wasn’t anything marked in the journal about this, there wasn’t much mention of how the spell went other than successfully. He continues reading on keeping an eye on Dean as he does. 

Sam rushes the Dean’s side to check on him but Dean pushes him away. Castiel’s skin feels like it’s burning up, like he’s spiked a fever suddenly and he’s sweating. There’s wind, knocking and shaking things in the room. A few bottles break, Dean’s wheezing grows louder and the burning grows hotter. Castiel can’t stop now, too far in to turn back so he continues to read the spell louder over the wind. His basement is going to be wrecked when this is all over. Sam’s shouting Dean’s name now and Dean doesn’t seem to be responding but his eyes are open wide. Dean looks like he’s seeing something no one else is, his body wracked with fear and pain as Castiel continues to read the spell. 

It all feels wrong, but Castiel should have expected this. Blood magic doesn’t come easy, it comes with death and pure evil and Castiel’s unsure he has it in him to make the spell work. He tries not think on it, tries even harder not to imagine what Dean could be seeing to make him look as scared as he does. He hasn’t realized he’s stopped speaking until Sam turns to him and yells for him to finish the spell. He stammers over the next few words, repeating them for good measure before continuing on. 

Sam watches as Cas grabs the dagger from the alter and brings it to his wrist. Dean is still frozen on the bed, eyes wide and growing cloudy. Sam tries to decide which person deserves his attention most as Castiel cuts into his wrist and bleeds into the bowl of ingredients. Castiel pushes through the pain, twisting his arm to get all that he can. The spell book doesn’t specify an amount but he doubts a single drop will be enough. Cas is beginning to feel faint or like he might vomit, he can’t decide which but he knows it’s a bad sign. He finishes the last line of the spell and fights to stay upright as electricity wracks through his body. It’s just for a second but Castiel feels like he’s been jumpstarted and his heart is beating faster than before.

“Shit, Cas,” Sam leaves Dean’s side rushing to keep Cas on his feet. 

The wind isn’t dying down and feels like a tornado is wrecking through Castiel’s basement while lighting is ripping through his body. Cas keeps his arm above the bowl, his body growing colder and he worries he might pass out, thankful that Sam is there to keep him upright. Dean appears to be hovering just a few inches above the bed, his eyes shut now, mouth open and Cas thinks he can see a small light shining through him. It’s growing brighter, so bright that Cas has to shut his eyes against it. Sam crowds against them as the brunt of the storm wracks against them, the light filling the room and then it’s gone. The wind has stopped, Dean is back on the bed and the light is gone. 

All of the candles have gone out in the process and Cas uses the strength he has left to light them. Dean’s slumped on his side but otherwise motionless and Cas can’t help but fear the worst. Sam and Cas make their way to him, stepping over glass and broken furniture. Cas wouldn’t be surprised if they woke the entire neighborhood. He’ll have to move, lay low somewhere new until they forget his name but he can’t think about leaving yet. He needs to know if Dean’s okay. 

Cas rolls Dean onto his back, his eyes are shut but there’s pigment in his cheeks. Castiel cups his cheeks and they feel warm to the touch. Dean’s breathing quietly, his chest rising and falling with the inhale. Castiel rests his head against Dean’s chest and he hears it, the subtle, beat of Dean’s heart waking up in his chest. It sounds weak, as though it’s learning how to beat after being asleep for so long. Dean smells like sweat and dust, its acrid but it’s different than the way Dean normally smells, like a winter morning. Castiel wraps his arms around Dean because it worked and Dean’s alive. Castiel’s spell worked and they’re going to be okay.

“Cas, we need to get you to the hospital,” Sam is saying. Cas nearly forgot about the wound on his arm and is reminded by the way it burns as he continues to bleed. Sam’s hoisting him to his feet with a promise to come back for Dean before he ushers Castiel up the stairs. 

The drive feels like it takes hours, Castiel drifts in and out of consciousness as Dean sleeps in the seat beside him. He watches the street lights fade behind them as Sam races to the nearest hospital. Dean’s alive but neither of them are sure what kind of affect the spell had on him or just how okay he is. Castiel clings to Dean’s rough hand, his head in Dean’s lap as they drive. He falls asleep again and then Sam is shaking him awake and asking if he can stand on his own. He follows behind Sam as he carries Dean into the emergency room. Cas can hear Sam giving the nurse fake alias’s and wonders how many times Sam has done this. 

The nurse ushers them to emergency room, assigning them beds as they wait for doctors to attend to them. Castiel’s given fluids and a blood transfusion as Dean’s placed into a separate area to be treated. Cas wants to climb out of bed and check on Dean but his body feels weak. The doctor checks his heart and writes something on his chart. Cas wants to know what he heard but he’s falling asleep again, waking a few moments later to find himself in a hospital gown. As he wonders when he changed, he slips asleep again, this time for a few hours.

Castiel has a headache when he wakes up and his arm hurts. He’s been bandaged and probably has stitches now. There’s wires and machines surrounding him, beeping and making all sorts of sounds. He examines his arm and realizes that someone’s holding onto his opposite hand. Dean’s asleep beside him, head resting on the edge of his bed. A wave of relief washes over him as he remembers that the spell worked. He squeezes Dean’s hand a little and Dean sits upright, wiping the sleep from his eyes. Dean’s changed out of his normal outfit, Castiel notices. He’s still wearing his leather jacket but he’s wearing a Henley and a fresh pair of jeans now. Castiel likes the way it looks on him.

“Hey,” Dean says. “How do you feel?”

“Like I got hit by a bus,” Cas answers honestly. Dean smiles at that and leans in to kiss Castiel’s cheek. 

While Dean’s still close he whispers, “I was really worried about you for a sec.” It’s Castiel’s turn to laugh now.

“I’m a witch Dean, I’m not going to die that easily,” he says. 

“Better not. Last thing I need is you haunting my ass,” they both laugh at that. 

Sam knocks then, coming in with coffee and breakfast for them. Castiel sits up in his bed and takes in the wires and IV he’s connected to. His arm itches where the needle is taped to his skin and he has to fight the urge to pull it out. Sam hands Dean a coffee and a burger, which Dean apparently loves. He tears into it eagerly, moaning around the first bite. Sam laughs at him and passes a coffee to Cas along with a tray of what the cafeteria is serving for breakfast today. Castiel thanks him and begins cutting into his pancakes. 

“Feeling any better?” Sam asks. Cas nods around a bite of food.

“I’ll be fine,” he says. “I’m mostly just tired.”

“Good. The doctor says you’ll have to stay another night for testing but after that you should be able to go home,” Sam fidgets with his own cup of coffee. “You crashed some time during the night, they said there was some stress to your heart so they need to do some more tests to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

Cas has trouble swallowing around his bite of food. He doesn’t remember that, he doesn’t remember much at all from last night. He’s not even sure what time it is now. He takes in the information and is thankful Sam was able to get him to the hospital in time. Dean gives his arm a gentle squeeze, slides it down and holds Castiel’s hand. He looks at the wires and monitors again and watches his own heartbeat a moment. 

“When I cast the spell it felt like I was being struck by lightening,” he confesses. “And my skin felt like it was on fire,” he turns his bandaged arm in the air and stares at his palm. “I can’t imagine ever using that type of magic again,” he says. 

“Hopefully you’ll never have to,” Sam says. “I’m thankful, honestly, for everything you did for us. It was hard watching you go through that though, I was worried we were going to lose you Cas.” 

“What about Dean, the doctors say anything?” Cas asks, trying to switch the focus of the conversation. 

“Clean bill of health, other than exhaustion and a few vitamin deficiencies, he’s clear to leave,” Sam answer.

“Good as new,” Dean says smiling wide. 

Cas returns home from the hospital once they declare that he’s definitely not going to die again which Dean is happy about. He helps Cas settle back into his home. The light bulb in his shop is replaced and any messes created by the spell have been cleaned. He thanks them both for fixing up his home. Castiel’s eager to return to work and is relieved when Dean informs him that he took over caring for his plants and managing the store while he’s away. Sam helped where he could, following Dean’s lead. There’s rumors amongst the witches, Dean reveals once they’re all sitting on the couch in Castiel’s den. The TV is playing gently in the background as they discuss their next moves. No one is truly sure what happened that night but they know Castiel was involved and that he was using strong magic. It won’t take long for them to figure it out and try to do something about it. Castiel will have to move on, to find a new city or state to settle down in until the chatter quiets down. 

Sam wants to return to hunting and saving people and Castiel’s certain Dean will want to help him again. Castiel tries not to get sad at the idea of Dean putting himself in danger if it means saving the lives of others. Maybe Dean will visit him from time to time when he’s found a new home and built up a new shop. Sam decides to rest a few more nights before he leaves so they still have time to make plans. Castiel closes down the shop for the night and prepares for bed. 

Dean’s been human for a few days now but Castiel is still surprised at the sounds of boots on the floorboards and the creak from Dean’s weight on the steps. He doesn’t need to turn around to know Dean’s following him. He’s not sure why he expecting everything to change, he was prepared to never see Dean again once the dust had settled but Dean’s still here, still following Castiel. Castiel strips from his clothes, leaving them in a pile on the floor. Dean does the same, Cas watches enthralled. Ghost Dean couldn’t undress or change clothes but the living Dean is muscular, scarred and there’s a tattoo on his chest Castiel never knew about. Dean catches him staring and for a moment he’s embarrassed, but Dean’s watched him do the same countless nights now. Dean tosses his shirt aside, pulls his boots off and struts over to Castiel. His arms are warm as they wrap around Castiel’s waist and the stubble on his cheeks scratch against Castiel’s cheek when he rests his head on Castiel’s shoulder. Castiel breathes him in and Dean smells like aftershave and Castiel’s soap. He holds Dean a little tighter, soaking in the pull of Dean’s skin and every curve of muscle. The lights don’t flicker anymore and his TV doesn’t skip channels while they hold each other. Castiel kisses Dean as though he’s making up for months of lost time. Years of never knowing Dean, never knowing how good this could be and now they have a real chance.

Castiel pulls Dean into him, aligns their hips and tugs like they can’t get close enough. Dean kisses him back just as hungrily, his tongue sneaking into Castiel’s mouth and he loves the way Dean tastes, it’s so much better than the normal coldness he’s met with. Dean’s shirking his boxers and suddenly Castiel’s eager. He pulls his own boxers off, letting them slip to the floor with the remainder of his clothes. He watches Dean, drinking in every freckle and scar as Dean stands before him. Castiel feels as though he’s burning up, his cheek are flush and his palms are sweating.

“God, Cas. I wanted to do this a long time ago,” Dean says, stepping back into Castiel’s space. He kisses Castiel again all while lifting him up. Castiel wraps his legs around Dean and laughs as Dean lays him down on the bed. “I’ve wanted this too,” Castiel confesses. He doesn’t want to feel guilty for wanting Dean anymore. 

Dean kisses along his collarbone and neck, biting and licking the tender skin before moving onto a new area. Castiel waves his hand, shutting and locking his door before anyone can interrupt them. Dean kisses every inch of skin he can, stopping briefly to kiss Castiel again before he traces Castiel’s skin with his hands. It tickles until Dean’s sliding his hands just below his belly button to the curve of his hip. Cas swallows and watches as Dean fists his cock, Cas moans a little too loud, he can’t remember the last time anyone’s made him feel this good. 

For a moment, Castiel worries he won’t hold out long enough. His hands fist the sheets as Dean continues to stroke him, Cas tries to return the favor but Dean pushes his hand away. Then, Dean’s pulling away and Cas knows exactly what he’s looking for. He snaps his fingers and the drawer of his nightstand opens, with a wave of his hand a small bottle of lube and a condom find their way to him. Dean watches in awe as Castiel holds out his palm and the items rest gently in his hand. Dean laughs a little, grabbing the bottle and opening the cap. 

“You need to teach me to do that,” he says. He covers two fingers in lube, sitting the bottle aside so he can focus on Cas. 

Castiel’s legs fall open and he bends himself a little so Dean will have better access to him. The first touch is cold and Castiel hisses and jerks away, making Dean laugh again. Castiel can’t get enough of that sound and the way Dean smiles all teeth and eye wrinkles. Dean pushes in a finger and Cas appreciates that it’s slow and easy. Cas hasn’t slept with anyone in a long time, years, he realizes. He’s suddenly eager for Dean to speed things along. Dean, however, decides to takes things at his own pace. He pushes his finger in slowly and withdraws it at the same speed, repeating it until Castiel’s loose enough for a second finger.

By the time Dean’s moved to the second finger, Castiel’s panting and sweating. He can feel his hair sticking to his forehead as every thrust puts him on edge. Dean knows what he’s doing, each thrust hitting the sweet spot inside of Cas that makes him feel like he’s crawling in his skin. He bites his lip and moans as Dean thrusts his fingers a little harder and a little quicker. Cas can’t wait to have more of this with Dean, moaning and opening his legs a little wider and taking everything Dean can give. This is perfect, Cas thinks.

“Dean, please,” Cas whines. He’s definitely not going to hold out much longer if Dean keeps up his pace. Dean removes his fingers, rips the condom open and rolls into onto his dick. 

“You’re so beautiful like this,” Dean whispers when he’s above Cas, lining up his cock. Cas knows he’s naked, sweating and panting but Dean’s words fill him with warmth. 

Dean pushes in and they both moan at the feeling. Dean feels bigger inside of him and Cas tries to relax himself through the first thrust. Once Dean’s as far as he can go, Castiel’s body begins to relax. Dean starts with slow thrusts as he kisses each of Castiel’s cheeks before kissing him in earnest. Castiel feels completely enveloped in Dean, it feels safe and perfect. Dean picks up his pace, doing everything to make Cas feel good. He moans, wraps his legs around Dean’s waist and grips Dean’s biceps. For a moment he feels sorry for Sam because his home is far from sound proof. The bed creaks with each thrust, it’s an old hand me down from a family member and Cas thinks it’s time to replace it.

Dean pants in between kissing Castiel. He reaches between them so he can grip Castiel’s cock and stroke him in time with each thrust. Each stroke and thrust brings Castiel closer and closer to the edge until he’s moaning and coming. He makes a mess of both his and Dean’s chests that he’ll apologize for later. Dean continues to thrust as Cas tries to come down from his orgasm until he grunts and comes. Dean kisses him again, sloppy and exhausted but still good. Dean eases himself out of Castiel and tosses the condom in a wastebasket, then he uses his own dirty shirt to wipe them both off. 

They lay together as they try to catch their breath, Castiel’s head resting on Dean’s chest as his arm is wrapped around Castiel. Castiel feels exhausted but it’s a good type of exhaustion. Dean kisses his forehead and rubs between his shoulder blades making Cas feel as though he could fall asleep at any moment. He catches Dean’s eye and Dean looks like he’s thinking too hard, his brow is furrowed and he’s running his hand through his hair. He reaches up to cup Dean’s cheek and Dean smiles at him, appreciative of the touch.

“Come with us,” he says and Castiel’s not sure what he means by that.

“What?” He asks. 

“Me and Sammy, come with us,” Dean explains.

“You want me to be a hunter?” Castiel asks. It seems so wrong, the idea of him hunting down monsters while hunters are killing his friends every day.

“No, not like that. I mean, you said yourself you can’t stay here, right? So, come with Sammy and me. You can find a new house and we could build you bigger green house. You could probably find something a little more secluded too,” Dean says. He looks at Cas like he’s expecting an answer but Castiel’s not sure what to say. 

Castiel’s used to moving around and starting new, he has too in order to survive. He just never expected to move so soon. He’s not sure where he will want to go this time, maybe somewhere warmer. There’s still some places he hasn’t traveled to yet, he can find a quieter town and lay low until everyone forgets his name again. He could even help Dean by translating old texts for him and teaching him a spell or two. He’ll need to begin packing right away if he wants to join Dean, but Castiel thinks he could do this. They can pack up all of his clothes and as many plants as they can cram into a moving van and be gone. 

“I’d like that,” he says. 

“So you’ll come with us?” Dean asks. 

“I’ll come with you,” Cas says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who has followed along with this fun and short Halloween fic. I will be creating one final illustration for this fic that will be on my blog on Wednesday. If you're interested in seeing the artworks for this fanfic you can visit my blog, bruisedcastiel.tumblr.com. I hope everyone enjoys this final chapter!


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